The Official Monster Raving Loony Party have had some notable defections in recent months from former sturgeon Labour, Liberal & Green party councillors as well as honorary party endorsements sutch as Lady Scarlet Bouvs to Space Binman keeper Neville Southall. But enough of us carping on about. . . we now proudly present our latest party member. . . At the time of writing he’s having a whale of a time in his new party and looking forward to battering our opponents at the eeliest opportunity. A full interview will follow to plaice on record as soon as its possible to arrange.
Stuart Merricks, Prince Arthur Manager presented Howling with an inscribed silver tankard on behalf of JD Wetherspoon’s. Then a birthday cake was delivered to his table and everybody sang “Happy Birthday”, after which he gave a speech and sang “Mack the Knife” to rapturous applause!
Lady Lil here, I’ve been working hard to get the by-election campaign moving. . . I can tell you, its been a bit of a strain. . .
. . . but today I’m announcing the finalised Manicfesto for the B&R by-election
1. To save money on office refurbishments for local MPs, it is proposed that office artwork, particularly cute photos will be taken with a phone camera and printed off at Boots chemist before blue tacking to the wall, invoices should be well under the £50 mark and therefore require no need to engage in complex and confusing accounting practices
2. The Welsh Assembly will be cut from 60 to 6 member and renamed the Welsh Ensemble
3. To save on ink, we will cut the number of letters in the alphabet, starting with N, H, S
1. In the interests of fairness and in alignment with Government, public sector workers will receive percentage increases received my MPS in previous year of austerity (10%) whilst MPs shall receive that of the nurses (1%)
2. Following the example of the Westminster bar – all bar tabs across the UK will be written off and everyone can start with a clean slate
3. All members of the public will be entitled to claim for anything that politicians claim for; as such everyone shall receive a free moat, trouser press and TV licence
1. We will Send Noel Edmonds to negotiate Brexit because he understands Deal or No Deal.
2. There will be no need for a backstop to the Brexit negotiations; we’ll use Alec Stewart as wicket-keeper.
Man v Horse and Bog Snorkelling will be made Olympic sports
All Schools would have a Jumble sale or fete or other fundraising event at least twice per month to help raise funds for those little extras such as Desks, Books, paper, pens , etc
We will ensure the next defence secretary is Welsh and entrust them with dealing with any leeks
1. All MPS will be relieved of their trousers, which will be sewn together and inflated to plug the hole in the ozone layer
2. We will declare an immediate climate emergency and then provide everyone with a bobble hat so we can continue to pull the wool over their eyes
Tax evasion loopholes shall be made available to all people, with tax havens accessible to all on a timeshare basis
On Social Care:
“Meals on Wheels” services will be replaced. The new service proposes to serve the meals on plates.
Photo Credit : Pip Morison
Barmy Lord Brockman back on the campaign trail.
In the campaign to put an Official Loony on the Council, Evesham Town Council South Ward By-election 25/07/19, a meeting was held at a secret location under the protection of the elite forces of the Evesham Liberation Fronts (ELF) bridge building corp.
It was pointed out that at the election in May, Barmy Lord B came up 8 votes short of being elected and this weekend will be spent finding those 8 people and giving them a second chance to reject him – That’s democracy folks. Meanwhile a picture of RU and Helen cuz were better looking than Barmy Lord Brockman
I confirm I will be standing (possibly slouching, or leaning) occasionally squatting or kneeling, but not lying, in the local by-election taking place on 1st August
I have been quite poorly this last few weeks, my doctor diagnosed a ‘sensible virus ‘ after reading this statement:
Just because I don’t care for the so called ‘sensible’ parties doesn’t mean I don’t care for the community I live in. I am a Monster Raving Loony because they are the only Party that is on your side no matter what your political persuasion may be. We use humour to provoke political discussion.
People tell me that they don’t bother voting because nothing changes but the sensible parties love a bit of voter apathy…. the less people voting the less people they have to cater for….they can just carry on in a system of self-servitude.
It’s a fact, more people don’t vote than do. The none voters represent the majority, if that majority all voted for None of the Above, it would be a political mudslide, there really is nothing wrong with the occasional spot of serious loonyism, sometimes it’s the only thing that makes sense, I mean look at the mess we’re in; to quote… Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the Right
So I say, I am “None of the Above’ , Don’t don’t vote; if you don’t know what to think, vote Pink!
Lady Lil is also delighted to announce that the great Howling Laud Hope will be resident at Loony H/Q (AKA Neuadd Arms Hotel, Llanwrtyd Wells) from 28th July to help on the campaign trail whilst also celebrating 20 years as leader of the Party, making him the longest standing Political Party Leader ever! Come and join the Party party and drink a drink a drink to Lily the Pink (and The Howling Laud)
Peter joined the Monster Raving Loony Party whilst we were still in Devon at The Golden Lion Hotel in Ashburton, around about 1985. A staunch member who would come along to any by-elections in support of our candidates. He stood in six parliamentary elections in his time, 5 of them in his home constituency of Wokingham, Berkshire. Gaining 531 votes in 1992 – 877 in 1997 – 880 in 2001 – 569 in 2005 – 329 in 2010. The 6th one was in the Henley-on-Thames by-election in 2008 when he polled 242. Additionally in 1994 he stood in the European Election and achieved an amazing 2,859 votes. A Loony Party record to this day, for the most votes in any election.
He became our deputy leader and held the position very well. He had not been too well for some time, so he and his wife Peggy moved up to Yorkshire to be near their two daughters. Condolences from all Loony Party members go out to them at this sad time.
So long Peter, we had some fun, fond memories from us all.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Party Leader.
We came, we saw, but we didn’t conker, conkers aren’t ready until September.
There were fifteen candidates and we beat five of them, coming in at tenth place. We were a little disappointed at not being a bit higher, but then many people told me that had ‘The Brexit Party’ not been standing, we would have had their vote, so a little bit of encouragement. All in all good banter, good friendly place, met up with all the usual suspects of the political world.
Other candidates were very friendly, none more so than Mike Greene of the Brexit Party, a new friend of mine. We had a lot in common, not millionaire wise though, I wish!
Once again my agent, the ‘Flying Brick’ did his usual grand job of securing all the names for the nomination papers, in the pouring rain, I might add. Well done Flying, he loves it really.
I spent eleven days in Peterborough on the run-up to the election, with ‘The College Arms’ Wetherspoons as my main meeting place and where I held the Loony Party surgery’s. A lot of fun and laughter was had by all. Met up with Katie Hopkins doing a documentary for Fox TV news, apparently they love us out in America. Also Rod Liddle, another old friend and good drinking partner.
A lot of media coverage from radio, TV and the newspapers. At the count we made our usual grand entrance, supervised by the Flying Brick. By now I had been joined by Mr RU Seerius, Lady Hell ‘n Bak, Chinners, Baron Badger, Miss Yvonne This, OB Joyful, Steve the Lawd son, Stevie Rules and party sympathiser Derrill Carr. Mike Greene made the comment ‘It was as if Elvis had just entered the building, absolutely wonderful, very impressive’. The SDP were very relieved to get 23 votes more than us, it was they that we beat in Bootle, when Dr David Owen was in charge, and they have only just started up again!
When the Ball was over, we were invited to attend the Brexit ‘victory party’. What a shock they came second, obviously turned out to be a runners up party. Nevertheless a good end to the evening, or early morning is a better way of putting it.
The latest news is, that if it’s proven to be a fraudulent result, there could be a re-run. Electoral Commission looking into voting misdemeanours.
Now that could be good fun all over again. Who’s ready to join us at the next by-election? There is no date as yet, but its probably Brecon in mid Wales.
Howling Laud Hope
Loony Party Leader