David Cameron’s Co-Ale-ition – the story so far

2015_1631_Wynchwood_IPAA week has now passed since David Cameron and Wychwood brewery launched their Co-ale-ition ale without permission from Alan Hope and the OMRLP. It should have been called Cameron’s Real Ale Present as the acronym says it all.

So what has happened since then:-

Marston brewery’s press statement on 25th March gave credit where credit was due for this IPA when they said “Co-Ale-ition Indispensable Political Ale was the brainchild of David Cameron”. Remarkably similar to our IPA – Co-ALE-ition ‘Hope & Glory’ ‘Insanity Prevents Austerity’, which was first launched in Dec 2013 and has sold over 15,000 pints since then. Cameron chose the word Indispensable coupled with Political Ale to describe his IPA ale, perhaps some more appropriate words beginning with the Letter ‘I’ which more accurately describe what has been done to the OMRLP by Cameron and Wychwood would be:- Indifferent, Indescribable, Indigestable, Indiscriminate, Indefensible, Indelicate, Indiscreet and Indemnifying.

The only good thing about the Cameron Co-ale-ition beer label is that it does refer to the N0 10 which we assume recognises the OMRLP’s 10th Co-ALE-ition ale which was successfully launched by ‘Hogs Back’ brewery in March 2015.

Would David Cameron have known about the OMRLPs Co-ALE-ition ales? Highly likely because Winning Co-ALE-ition, which features a photo of David Cameron with Alan Hope on the pumpclip was sold in The Strangers Bar (Houses of Parliament) for a week last June. Also Co-ALE-ition ‘HowlinGale’, which also features a photo of Cameron and Hope was on sale last May in Cameron’s favourite local constituency pub, The New Inn in Witney. It is hard to believe that either of these establishments would feature a pumpclip with David Cameron without clearing with him first.

Howling wrote to Chris Keating aka Kris Cheating (Marketing Manager of Wychwood brewery) last week, Kris wrote back confirming that David Cameron’s Co-ale-ition ale would not be available publicly and would not be for sale now or in the future. Kris also offered Howling and his team a free brewery trip to help ease the pain. Howling has gone back to Wychwood brewery since seeking their permission to name our 11th Co-ALE-ition ale “The Real Hobgoblin”. Just as Co-ALE-ition is the OMRLPs brand name, Hobgoblin is Wychwood’s brand name and hope Kris will agree to the proposal as the publicity will benefit everybody. Apparently Wychwood’s Hobgoblin is David Cameron’s favourite ale, wait till Cameron gets a taste of the Co-ALE-ition branded “The Real Hobgoblin” .

Emily Ashton, reporter friend of the Party, was given the exclusive and she wrote a wonderful story for Buzz Feed News which at the last count had been picked up by more than 50 other news websites.

The Daily Mirror did a great follow up story and also ran a Poll amongst its readers as to which Co-ALE-ition ale they preferred – 95% voted for the Loony Party version.
So what about Cameron’s Co-ale-ition ale itself, is it any good? The honest answer is we still do not know, there has been no feedback yet from anybody in the Govt who received a bottle.

However we still have a group of CAMRA members on standby willing to sample Cameron’s ale and give their honest assessment but not even Howling can get a bottle of this Co-ale-ition ale from Wychwood brewery so we will have to speculate and let our imaginations run a little wild.
Some of the possible descriptions of Cameron’s ale now follow:-

  • Poor taste, very close to sell by date.
  • Taste of vinegar, but we bet Eric Pickles liked it
  • Gassy, frothy and full of air (hot).
  • From a coalition not in the best condition and lacking real strength.
  • Beware of the sediment which like the deficit is left behind.
  • Leaves a dry lingering bitter aftertaste and has an unpleasant aroma.
  • Flat, hazy, cloudy and not clear just like their policies.
  • Pale imitation of the real thing.
  • No substance or real character.
  • BOGCF – Buy One Get Clegg Free.

Some possible thoughts from the recipients of Cameron’s ale:-

  • Phillip Hammond decided to give his bottle to ISIS, sure fire way to get them on the run.
  • Eric Pickles said it never touched the sides.
  • Theresa May not even drink hers she is holding it back as a prize to give to anybody who achieves an Immigration target.
  • IDS said its not a benefit he would cut.
  • Osborne said its my duty to drink it but I did find it taxing.
  • William Hague said it puts hairs on your head.
  • Jeremy Hunt said he expected it put more pressure on the NHS and especially the A&E depts.
  • John Bercow would no doubt say the No’s on the right have it.
  • Michael Gove may have blamed the Whips.
  • Maria Miller would be looking to put it on expenses.
  • Vince Cable said he preferred the Coalition crisps and given the choice he would have voted against naming Cameron’s ale Co-ALE-ition.
  • Danny Alexander was seeking more credit for this ale for Nick Clegg and the Lib Dems.
  • Simon Hughes, the only member of the Coalition Govt that we definitely know who has tried both versions of Co-ALE-ition as he was at OMRLP’s Strangers Bar Co-ALE-ition launch event in June and would probably say there is no justice in this world.

There has still been no apology received from David Cameron or Wychwood brewery but the faces of Cameron and Clegg on the latest version of Cameron’s Co-ale-ition beer label  perhaps does confirm that they now have some regrets.