Policy Proposals

Winter Olympic Sport

Many thanks to Martin for this one:
We propose to include: Shove ha’penny on ice as a Winter Olympic budget version of curling?

E.U Proposals

The options on the Referendum ballot on our membership of the EU to
read–
a) In
b) Out
c) Shake it all about
Big thanks to Jim for this one….

comparing meerkats

We will instruct the RSPCA to ensure that all meerkats come in twos to enable the public to effectively compare the meerkat.

many thanks to Phil

Saving Fuel

Saving Fuel – A bungy rope should be attached to all vehicles making a journey. No fuel would be required for the return journey.

eh-mails

Emails would be abolished. Instead, to reduce confusion, messages from men would be hemails, and from women shemails. (the only exception being blokes from Essex who would still send ’emails ).

in plane sight

For the convenience of aeroplane passengers the destination and time of arrival should be displayed on a notice attached to the sticking up bits at the end of the main wing, in letters large enough to be read by passengers looking out of the window. Should this information change during the course of the journey, the pilot will need to get out to update it.

many thanks to licker de fenêtre

New Proposal

A new letter should be introduced into the Dictionary- the phlegm noise that is in so many names now days (eg, Achmed)
The Phantom of The Opera to be unmasked to show acceptance for disability.

Many thanks to Emily (and Charlotte and Jess and Martin

1777

Terrorists to wear Bells and Horns so we know where they are.

Hair today

Hairgrips to come with tracking devices so they are not lost.

annoying ash-

Ash clouds to be banned; they are annoying.