Policy Proposals

Educational Funding

The Loony Party proposes that all Schools would have a Jumble sale or fete or other fundraising event at least twice per month to help raise funds for those little extras. . . such as Desks, Books, paper, pens , etc
R.U. Seerius

Pensions – triple lock

In keeping with the Labour Party’s latest bid to get one or two pensioners to vote for them they have brought out a new policy guaranteeing the Triple lock on pensions until 2025 if they get voted in.
The Loony party of course will go one better and buy a padlock, and as its now safer than a bank,  new mattresses for all pensioners on less than 20p per week.
R.U. Seerius

The definitive Welsh Assembly Loony Party Manicfesto 2016

  1. We will feed the Welsh dragon as its looking a bit thin due to government cuts
  1. We will try to find a breeding pair of dragons as the Welsh Dragon is an endangered species.
  1. We will Report the Welsh dragon to the monopolies commission (there is only One)
  1. In the Interests of national security we will ban all Leeks from the Welsh Assembly canteen
  1. To save money we will reduce the Welsh assembly from 60 seats to 5 and create the Welsh Ensemble .
  1. Man versus horse and Bog snorkling to be an Olympic sport.
  1. We will create massive factories in South Wales manufacturing Bird nests and noodles and then flood china with them… well they did it to our steel,
  1. We will Legalise Broccoli
  1. We will give the Letter K a sound
  1. We will have different Coloured Dragons on the Welsh Flag.
  1. Anyone over 5 years old who can hold a crayon will be eligible to vote.
  1. We will Introduce Mermaids to Tiger Bay to increase tourism.
  1. We will make Swansea Airport the Hub of the Welsh Space Program.
  1. We promise that should we be elected we will not initiate any of our policies.

New Proposals

In the light of proposals at the Labour Party Conference under its new leadership with Jeremy Corbyn we have come up with 2 new proposals for Defense :

We will get rid of Trident and replace it with a new Tuning Fork.

We shall keep the Falklands and Give Jeremy Corbyn to the Argentinians.

 

Tuition fees

Well once again the main parties are stealing our election proposals. Today Ed Moribund has declared that they would reduce University Tuition fees to much media acclaim.
I didn’t notice the same amount of acclaim when we announced in our Manicfesto:
E. Education. All University Tuition fees for women would be free as we are strong believers in Female intuition. (Due to gender equality laws we would include males as well)

New proposals

We propose to cancel stamp duty…….stamps are expensive enough so we shouldn’t have to pay duty on them.

Besides leap years, there needs to be hop, skip, and jump years (thanks to Brassdancer)

Parliament will be relocated to Wormwood Scrubs, reducing the commuting costs for most Peers and MPs. (thanks to WolfBaginski)

Heritage refund

We will reduce the national debt by selling the castles back to the French. (Buyer dismantles)

Points make prizes

Tax payers to receive Nectar Points from HMRC

E.U Budget Adjustment and other news

We can confirm that the Loony party was not notified of the E.U budget demand of £1.7bn before George Osborne or David Cameron.
Also in the news the BBC in keeping with their policy of not important news coverage will be televising the incarceration of Oscar Pistorius 24 hours a day. Yes you can see the riveting instalments of Oscar sitting in a cell for 5 years. You can see Oscar walking around his cell and his special hour of Recreation. .Ping Pong  exclusives …..Don’t miss the Slopping Out Special Highlights.

Asda’s equality policy

The Loony Party being strong advocates of equal pay agree that the women workers of Asda should have equal pay with the men.
We have it on good authority that George Osborne also agrees with this, and to save needless court costs, has asked for the men’s wages to be reduced accordingly.