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Emails would be abolished. Instead, to reduce confusion, messages from men would be hemails, and from women shemails. (the only exception being blokes from Essex who would still send ’emails ).
For the convenience of aeroplane passengers the destination and time of arrival should be displayed on a notice attached to the sticking up bits at the end of the main wing, in letters large enough to be read by passengers looking out of the window. Should this information change during the course of the journey, the pilot will need to get out to update it.
many thanks to licker de fenêtre
A new letter should be introduced into the Dictionary- the phlegm noise that is in so many names now days (eg, Achmed)
The Phantom of The Opera to be unmasked to show acceptance for disability.
Many thanks to Emily (and Charlotte and Jess and Martin
Terrorists to wear Bells and Horns so we know where they are.
Hairgrips to come with tracking devices so they are not lost.
Ash clouds to be banned; they are annoying.
Pokemon to be considered an endangered species.
Put all people committed of un-social behaviour in to Stocks, this will create a demand for stocks, which should help to increase the stock market.
Superglue unruly teenagers together.As the saying goes if you cant beat them you may as well join em.
We will nationalise crime to make sure it doesn’t pay
The problems of prison overcrowding and increased crime will be solved easily by issuing a compulsory contract on McDonalds to do all prison catering. Convervative estimates suggest a 50% reduction in crime rates within 2 years with 0% re-offender figures.