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Author Archives: R.U.Seerius
The Monster Raving Loony Party will be holding a Victory Party –
Before the count has even begun !
With The Big Faux Fibbers
at – The Liquor Works, 203 Holloway Rd. N7 8DL
Free entry – Show starts about 9.30 + Irish music session from The Curfew
Come along and meet members of the Monster Raving Loony Party
You could join the party ! – and then maybe stand in the next election !
Hope to see u all there ! Cheers – Knigel Knapp, Knight of the unKnown.
VOTE FOR THE MONSTER RAVING LOONY PARTY – The only sane thing to do in a world gone mad !
As the party of music we draw your attention to Infinite Ear TV…Founded in June 2017, Infinite Ear TV is an independent video-based music, live performance and documentary channel bringing you the best content through high quality video and audio. Showcasing the most exciting new talent in music with unprecedented insight and access into live music, performance and music production. Artists and performers tell their stories in the way we both think they should be told, through.
Their new channel is live! To celebrate the start of this new chapter and to kickstart the channel in a good way, they have are released a documentary , focusing on the totally unique The Official Monster Raving Loony Party and the legendary character of politics and Rock’n’Roll Screaming Lord Sutch. With a brand new website with lots of releases and more about this new channel below.
Full Documentary: https://youtu.be/R9d7AQyoTrQ
New Website: www.infiniteear.co..
We are to issue free beanie hats to all so when in government we can ‘pull the wool over everyone’s eyes’.
- To provide a Strong & Stable Government we will relocate Parliament to the Tower of London.
- France will be required to return Brittany.
- All Europeans to pay to use the English Channel, and all Creme Anglais to be made in Britain.
- Germany will have to pay for all treatment of German Measles, and Spain ditto for Spanish Flu.
- Tactically we should start Brexit negotiations with a bluff induce, play for a freeze-out, refuse any rake-back and finish by buying the pot. (This will be achieved through an aggressive, sudden and massive bout of QE in the last week of the Brexit deal deadline.)
Tax payers to receive Nectar Points from HMRC.
- The Loony Party will nationalise all other political parties . . . and when they don’t keep their manifesto promises they will be merged into Rainbow George’s ‘Rainbow Alliance’.
- We will nationalise crime to make sure it doesn’t pay.
Atheism will be given charity status being a non-prophet organization. In the interests of health and safety all other theism’s will loose charity status and be regulated by their local authority.
The alphabet will be reduced to 23 characters. This will start by cutting the letters N. H. and S.
All Schools would have a jumble sale, fête or other fundraising event at least twice a month to help raise funds for those little extras . . . such as desks, books, paper, pens etc.
- Voters will get a 30 day cooling off period, if you change your mind, didn’t like the result, or didn’t know what you were voting for, you can get your vote back.
- Reduce the voting age to 16 (carried forward from our 1983 manicfesto) . . . (nicked by Labour)
One in one out (carried forward from our 2015 manicfesto) . . . (nicked by UKIP)
Pensions or how to get the grey vote . . .
The Labour Party’s leadership are hoping to get one or two pensioners to vote for them so they have brought out a new policy guaranteeing the Triple lock on pensions until 2025 . . . The Loony party of course will go far better and will buy several very large padlocks and some very heavy chains.
We shall replace the Trident defence system with a tuning fork.
Economy & Pensions
We will further complicate the UK tax system so that everyone can find a loophole, not just multi-national companies.
- We will change the English symbol of three lions to three badgers. How often do you see lions running round the countryside?
- All food sold in fast food establishments should be clearly marked “may contain traces of real food”
Social Media sites to be taken down annually for a ‘recall how to talk day’
- We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park.
- Potholes deeper than three inches will be marked with a yellow plastic duck.
- We will rename the current ‘Oyster’ travel cards, to ‘Sardine’ to truly reflect the experience when traveling on public transport.
- British Airways will be given an abacus and some post-it notepaper to replace its computer systems.
Is there no end to this plagerism?…
Labour’s leaked manfesto includes reducing the voting age to 16… One of our policies from the past, 1983 I think… Not so Loony now are we?
Nicking our policies…
It seems to be a trend at the moment for other parties to nick other parties policies.. The Tories have nicked Labours Energy cap policy,but wait, Ukip have just nicked our Immigration policy, of one in and one out (our 2010 manicfesto) and Labour have nicked our policy of getting the energy companies to charge normal or lower prices to people who pay their bill on an electric card bought from their local shop (our 2005 manicfesto).
What ever happened to copyright laws…
The Loony Party proposes that all Schools would have a Jumble sale or fete or other fundraising event at least twice per month to help raise funds for those little extras. . . such as Desks, Books, paper, pens , etc
Jeremy Corbyn has brought out a new policy that if they win the next election, St Georges day would be a National Holiday.
The Loony party would like to point out that this is a policy that we proposed many years ago. . . If we ruled you would already be having a day off today (St Georges was on Sunday this year). Once again the other parties are using our policies, many years after we proposed them. . . this happens all the time. . .
The conclusion is clear, vote loony for yesterdays policies . . . tomorrow.
Theresa May has today threatened to call an election for June 8th 2017.
I say threatened as she needs a vote in Parliament (which she will probably get)
Our Leader Alan Howlin Laud Hope has already issued a statement telling Loony Candidates to get ready for Government. . .
As usual we will be publishing our manicfesto shortly so we can all be reading from a different page. . . Candidates are asked to contact us asap if you are going to stand (only definite candidates required). This is our chance to get our first M.P in Parliament.
Don’t forget if you are in the “Gorton” Manchester area we still have our candidate “Johnny Disco” standing on 4th May.
In keeping with the Labour Party’s latest bid to get one or two pensioners to vote for them they have brought out a new policy guaranteeing the Triple lock on pensions until 2025 if they get voted in.
The Loony party of course will go one better and buy a padlock, and as its now safer than a bank, new mattresses for all pensioners on less than 20p per week.