news 15/12/07-06/03/08

 

20/2/08 Condolances

It is with great regret that we heard today that  the Mayor of Elmbridge Cllr Mick Burgess has passed away. Although not a member of the party he was instrumental in giving continual support and advice to some of our members. Our thoughts and condolances go to his family and friends at this difficult time. For more details  Click here

14/2/08 Self Responsibility

A self confessed compulsive Gambler is sueing William Hills for £2million for allegedly allowing him to carry on betting. One wonders if he'd have been so quick to complain if he'd have won?  Are obese people now going to sue the supermarkets because they allowed people to buy food that makes them fat? Shall we all sue the Brewerys because they sell beer that may make us drunk? Whatever happened to self responsibility?  Is this yet another example of the (someone else is to) Blame culture and Political correctness that is worming its way into our society? and whilst on the subject of political correctness you can read a statement on the subject which was sent in, in our Letters From U section

11/2/08 : R.I.P.COMMON SENSE

London Times Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense..... Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as;

Knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird catches the worm;
Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer suntan lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself against a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little into her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his four stepbrothers, I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

IMPORTANTLY...
Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following statistics?

29 have been accused of spouse abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
4 have been arrested on drug related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drink driving offenses in the last year

This organization is the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line!

10/2/08 Big Money

The event below  raised in excess of £1000. Well done Colin

05/02/08

STOP PRESS: ITS A LITTLE SHORT NOTICE BUT IF YOU CAN GET DOWN TO THIS EVENT, GIVE EM YOUR SUPPORT.

Charity event for local hospice being held in Tafarn-y-Felin, Heol Beili Glas, Llanelli, Carms.  Tiger (local loony) feeling lonely needs support.  Event is dress up in school outfits.  Singers and auctions on night.  Cost £5 for adults meal included

This will be the third event run by our loony member Colin (Tiger) who has raised loads for local charities, (I am told) It also includes an Auction of items donated by local business so give em your support.

20/01/08 Highways and Flyways:
In the light of the recent accident at Heathrow in which (thank God) no one was hurt ,we have obtained a copy of the latest addition to The Pilots Safe Flying handbook:

17/01/08 Malteasers New Branch
Rumour has it that a New Branch of the OMRLP is being set up in Malta to cater for all the expat's and of course the local inhabitants of that fair Ilse. It is to be called  The Official Maltese Raving Loony Party...watch this space

14/01/08 Spam,spam,spam,spam,spam
Our Thanks go to loony member Ali who has written a letter directed to spammers. of the repurcussions she has had this year regarding spammers sending her emails (spam). you can read her letter here http://www.omrlp.com/index.php?page=letters-from-u

14/01/08 House of Lauds
Well, politically the year has not started out well for Gordon Brown who has a minister Peter Haines who has been accused of some shenanigins with donations. Not to be outdone the Conservatives have also been in the news with a similar accusation. Do you get this feeling of de ja vu?

However I have been asked by one of our members Mark who is deeply concerned about the proposal to alter the status of the House of Lords and has asked us to bring his opinions to your attention.

The Loony Party's stance on this is clear: We shall replace the House of Lords with The House of Cards, to make it easier for the Government to deal with!

Mark writes: 
"As you may know last week Mr Brown insulted 1,104 people who had signed a petition calling upon him to scrap his attempts to destroy the House of Lords (as can be read at http://mwb.org.uk/lords-reform-eresponce/ ) today after I had cooled down a little I sent Mr Brown a nice little letter ( which can be read at http://mwb.org.uk/a-letter-to-gordon/ )asking him to do the democratic thing and put the fate of the House of Lords not in the hands of some elitist organisation (as I'm sure you know to well the costs of being a candidate in a parliamentary election makes the entire institution elitist) but should be placed in the hands of the public by referendum.

I ask the loony party, and comrades to also speak up on this issue and make Mr Brown commit to putting the issue of Lords Reform to the public."

 

06/03/08 I.D Cards 
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said plans to force passport applicants to get an ID card have been dropped at the moment. Ms Smith said she expected the "full roll-out" of ID cards would happen by 2017, and the aim is that by 2015, 90% of foreign nationals will have identity cards. (we assume she means the foreign nationals in this country)
This is a definate (temporary) climbdown from Government policy as defined by Previous Prime Minister Tony Blair.

It must be assumed that in the face of the Loony Partys policy on I.D cards the Government has been forced to rethink this idea.

To make I.D cards more acceptable the loony party is the only party who has issued I.D  cards in the form of a mirror, in the format of Key rings, and Compact mirrors for our feminie members.    Loony Party Policy States:

I.D cards will be issued in form of a small compact mirror with the following instructions.
1.If asked to identify yourself .....look in mirror to check that its you. If you cannot identify yourself....
2.Ask someone else to look in the mirror to see if its you....If you still cannot identify yourself....
3.Try again later when sober. 

We have issued an alternative badge with the details of this policy displayed on it. We also have Keyrings and for the ladies a compact badge with a mirror on the back. These are available for .99p. Check out our merchandise page for details