More Proposals
More...... Official Monster Raving Loony party MANIFESTO proposals
Scroll down to view the forward thinking and positive contributions to political life that the Loony party is famous for:
Please note that anyone is welcome to put forward proposals for consideration. If you have a proposal email us at: admin@loonyparty.info Also note we may not reply to your email although we do read every one.
-
Healthy Drinking
Health Matters: show by example.
To stop young people's excessive drinking and having a good time the politicians should convert all their 30 or 40 bars at Westminster into milk bars. Their restaurants should be converted into salad bars to show solidarity with school children, how to improve their health and fitness. -
Shout it out
The speaker in the house of commons will be replaced by the latest audio equipment -
Balanced View
All politicians should be made to stand continually on one leg while making speeches to check how balanced their arguments are. It should also reduce political flatulence and soothe the listeners ears -
PeacePlan
To help the Israel/palestine problems, we should get rid of the old fashioned road map, and give them a sat nav instead. -
Purple Haze
It is proposed the party adopts the Paint It Purple Policy(PIPP) In order to solve the problem of depressed areas,unemployment and youth disaffection, Every third building in the country should be painted purple. There'll be lots of jobs created either making purple paint, or doing the painting, these jobs can be done by young people, who'll be too busy washing purple paint off themselves to get into trouble. -
Beat Them at their own game
It is proposed that the government should set up a terrorist training camp and that all prospective suicide bombers should have to blow themselves up as there final licensing test, with points added for mass destruction of the test range, but deducted for survival. this would undoubtedly reduce acts of terror. -
Ex pat proposal
On a recent visit back to Blighty, I was concerned to hear of Labour's financial contrubutions scandal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donorgate). Knowing the Monster Raving Loony Party would never accept "under the table" donations, I propose a strictly "on top of the table" alternative, to be delivered in manilla envelopes to all Labour Party offices... The DonorGate Commemorative Cookie - brown on the outside, flakey on the inside, and sprinkled with nuts.
If you wanted to further feed general public interest, you would "knead" millions... The first batch could be of, say, 548,850, the next 320,000, and so forth. While unable to match Labour's foreign receipts, each of us ex-patriot Brits could then send you a big batch of cookie dough, roughly moulded into the shape of the countries in which we presently reside. This would provide your party with its fair share of offshore "dodgy dough nations".... -
Politicians are Shocked
Politicians to be fitted with electric shock collars, the type used to stop dogs barking, and shocked every time they lie. -
And The Winners of Next weeks Lottery Are?
Psychics should be made to prove themselves by winning both the National Lottery and the Euromillions, having correctly predicted the winning numbers. -
Never mind the money
Every year the Prime Minister should be tarred and feathered, this will make the job much less appealing and will hopefully lead to short term office for power-hungry PMs. -
Monarchy
A lot of people believe that we should no longer have a Monarchy as they serve no purpose. However the Monarchy through tourism bring alot of money to Britain. It is proposed that we hold a jousting competion, with the winner becoming Monarch for the year. Reprint the coins with a picture of a knight joustin on them. We would never have to reprint the coins from then on and at least people would feel the then current Monarch earned thier position. Keeping the Monarchy would allow us still to reap the benifits of tourism. -
Football
All football team's should wear the same coloured shirts , shorts and boots , wear big red noses and bright green wigs, as this will lead to a more exciting and interesting game. -
Immigration
i) The government's plans on restricting immigration does not go far enough. To fully protect our nation's values, we should ensure nobody can get into Britain at all. We shall burn all airports & harbours, establish anti-aircraft guns and sea mines across every inch of coast, and erect a vast forcefield around Great Britain.
ii) Anyone who is abroad shall only be let back in after 40 days of quarantine, where they will be made to listen to the national anthem 24/7 to prevent any contamination by foreign thinking. -
University Fees
It is proposed to raise the cost of an university education to the point where nobody can afford to go, thus ending the scourge of drunk students. -
Fishy Sounding
All tins of tuna to be sold with a FREE peg or a gas mask for the higher quality tuna. -
A drink in your Honour
There should be two plaques in every pub, one to Alan "Howlin Laud" Hope and one to Screamin Lord Sutch, possibly the greatest man who ever lived (sent in by wijajo) -
Livestock Buffet
Why not rear cattle in restaurants? There will no need to distribute meat all over the country creating pollution and kids will have fun petting the fat cows and snorting pigs. -
The OAP jetset.
It is proposed to supply jetpacks for the elderly. This way they don't block the pavements and roads with those slow little machines that they have. This will reduce congestion so will be good for the environment. The elderly may have more fun in their life, more fun than bingo, and as there are no cars in the sky it will be much safer. Soon everyone will want jetpacks and the world will be a better place. -
This one was sent in by Garry. Personally we think this policy is a sticky proposition.
I think MRLP should table a motion for the preservation of Hot Treacle Pudding. That this great British delicacy should remain on our shop shelves and in our restaurants. Moreover the public should even be allowed to bath in it, if they so desire, but not in hot water but tepid deluxe thick creamy custard. I also insist that the European commune be converted to Hot Treacle pudding by August 2013. -
Commas with dots
Semicolons should be banned; No-one knows when to use one anyway. -
Transport Politicians to Hospital
Politicians will be made to use public transport, this will have many benefits, the saved money could be invested into hospitals, which could then be used to treat said politicians after having used said public transport. -
Political Mascots
During an election campaign, all political partes in the UK must spend at least 1% of their expenses on the maintenance and upkeep of a mascot and costume. This would serve to boost popularity in voting and encourage more
public participation in politics.
Previous page: Manifesto proposals
Next page: manifesto proposals