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news 15/06/08 -16/09/08

news 15/06/08 -16/09/08

16/09/08 Loony Party supports the Gurkhas.

Gurkhas fight on for equal rights. 

"Bravest of the brave, most generous of the generous, never had a country more faithful friends than you"  (Sir Ralph Turner MC, 3rd Queen Alexandra's Own Gurkha Rifles, 1931)

If you are getting confused at who the Real Loony party is? us or the Government, let us reiterate that we are Official Loony's they are Unofficial. You can easily differentiate by the policies and behaviour they exhibit in running this country. Will the real Loony Party please stand up. Please stand up. Please stand up.

The Government should be completely ashamed at the treatment they are giving these friends of Britain. The British people have a special place in their hearts towards these fearless friends of our country and culture and yet the British Government con them out of pension rights, and the legal right to stay in this country for which they have served so well and without question.

If the Loony party were in power, we would support our friends and bring some common sense and decency back to our Government.

But if we did that we wouldnt be politicians.

12/09/08 Teddy Bears.

We have received some proposals from Chris regarding teddy Bears. Initially I thought this was a bit childish and silly but, as we recently stood at an by-election with the Fur Play Party we decided to display the proposals, and you can decide. Chris writes:

I would like to bring an urgent issue to your attention.

The issue, of an inadequate representation and lack of equality for Teddy Bears in modern society. They stay loyal to us through the good and the bad times for so many years, and then are dumped up in an attic, and forgotten. I propose you add to your manifesto:

1) equal rights for Teddies, including voting, marriage, driving and of course the right to drink if aged 18 or over.

2) It to be illegal to put Teddies in boxes, put them in attics, cupboards or anywhere else they will not get to see the light of day.

3) All work places and offices to have at least hired one teddy, and that it must be present in the office at all times.

4) A fair representation of the Teddy Bear minority in parliament.

5) Taxes to also be payable in milk, biscuits, bread and honey, and all other foods considered part of the teddy bear's natural diet.

I was shocked and appalled, after mentioning this to a member of the labour party in the pub, and them shooting the idea down, calling it stupid and pointless.

I hope you take this issue seriously and address it immediately, it has been ignored by British governments for far too long, and once these laws are passed, we will be

leading the way in the fight for Equal Rights for Teddies globally.

Thanks,

Christopher *****

12/09/08 Losing your home?

Times are hard and getting harder. Due to the Credit Crunch (created by the Banks). The rising costs of food and fuel, etc, House repossessions are increasing at an alarming rate and the housing market and values are decreasing. But one or two people have mentioned the fact that people have borrowed well in excess of their ability to repay. (The banks again lending irresponsibly). As a result Gordon brown has come up with a series of measures to help people in trouble. You can read the details here http://www.number10.gov.uk/Page16715.  The point of this writing was made by someone who pointed out that if you are on a low/middle income and borrow excessively to finance your mortgage/new kitchen etc,  and then get in debt up to the hilt with credit cards and loans, dont worry the Government (taxpayer) will bail you out. If you are on a low/middle income and work extra to get a good standard of living, dont borrow excessively and dont go into debt but live within your means..you get nothing? Comments please!

12/09/08 Memberships:

Unfortunately due to ever increasing demand, we have run out of Membership packs. More are being made up as we speak/write. Our apologies for any delay to the people who have joined and are waiting patiently. We will be bringing some packs with us to the Conference and you can join up there, or renew your membership if you have let it slip, which also brings us to the renewal packs. Yes...we've run out of them as well. Badges and T-shirts will be available.

11/09/08 Secret Squirrel's solution to the Floods

Our minister for Minister for Re-Deranged Re-Engineering has worked out a solution to the recent flooding we've had in the U.K You can read his report at http://www.omrlp.com/index.php?page=floods-again

11/09/08 FREE Monster Raving Loony Music nights:

The next batch of FREE Monster Raving Loony Music nights are in the loony diary and are at The Poyntz Arms, 85 Walton Road, East Molesey, Surrey

26/08/08 Some proposals from Alex:

Needles

Due to the increasing number of children afraid of needles, I propose the destruction of the tedious, scary and often painful process of school vaccinations.
Instead, I propose that highly trained nurses should be given free reign on the playground with specially modified tranquillizer rifles which apply vaccinations as well as a tranquillizer. This would have two main benefits: It would be less scary for the children as they will not know what hit them, also it will be more fun for the nurses

Hypocrites

I propose that all politicians be made to swear a "hippocratic oath", preventing them by law from being Hypocrites.  All politicians should be made to stand by their policies, or or at least admit that they were wrong.

GCSE Lottery

I propose that, before the beginning of exams, the exam board will select a certain obscure phrase which will be kept secret. If any pupil inadvertently writes this phrase in any exam,he/she will automaticaly receive straight A* grades, and a free teddy.

23/08/08  

The Loony party would like to congratulate all the participants of Team GB at the 2008 Olympics. The fact that a number of the contestants have won Gold, Silver and bronze medals is an added bonus. Just to have been good enough to take part is an achievement and winning medals is outstanding, and has created once again a pride in being British. Thankyou all.

On the same subject it is our intention to contact the British Olympic Association, to ask once again that we introduce some of our national sports into the Olympics London 2012. Yes we are refering to those old favourites. The Egg and Spoon race, The Threelegged race, The Sack race and of course that old favourite The Witchducking Championships. It is important that the London Olympics reflects part of our sporting culture. 

14/8/08 More free Music

Some great muscians coming up in the next couple of months includ Papa Gerge with Alan Glen(ex Yardbirds), Steve Whalley (ex Slade), Brian Willoughby (ex Strawbs) and Alun Davies (ex Cat Stevens) at the new venue, The Poynts Arms, 85 Walton Road, East Molesey

Your support is most welcome and needed if FREE LIVE MUSIC is to continue every Friday in Molesey.

28/07/08 Edwin Dry R.I.P

We have just been informed that Eddie Dry,  guitarist with The Bandits and a former guitarist who backed Lord Sutch on many occassions passed away last Wednesday. We hope that friends and relatives will accept our condolances.

21/07/08 Free Live Bands

Some words from Chinners: Dear All

ALAS the legendary FREE music nights at the Prince of Wales have come to an end after the pub's recent upgrade? into a gastro bar . . . . all is not lost however as I have secured a seven week trial at the POYNTS ARMS, 85 WALTON ROAD, EAST MOLESEY  (5mins from Hampton Court BR and the 411 bus stops outside) from the 1st of August.
Opening this new/old evening will be the superb rock cover outfit THE BLUE FUSES (www.bluefuses.co.uk)
Other artists lined up include the NIGEL BAGGE BAND, MONA LEEZA, GARY BREWER & the GBs, The MAGIC BUS and a special performance from the amazing hillbillies THE CURST SONS.
Full listing dates will be available from the chinners-omrlp myspace site soon and of course in the pub.
Please spread the word far and wide as obviously this trial will be dependant on all you good people enjoying yourself to free live music in Molesey again

More details on our diary page.
Many thanks for you support at the Prince of Wales but all good things come to and end and all excellent things start anew!

Chinners

16/7/08 A few more proposals

Alex says:The speaker in the house of commons will be replaced by the latest audio equipment 

This one from Osric The Newt was sent in and at the time seemed a (dare i say it ) little silly. However now that we are in a recession (dare I say it) it may seem a little more relevant, as unemployemnt is increasing and builders are having a hard time.
Any way Osric says:I would like to suggest the party adopts the Paint It Purple Policy
(PIPP)
In order to solve the problem of depressed areas, unemployment and youth disaffection, Every third building in the country should be painted purple.
There'll be lots of jobs created either making purple paint, or doing the painting, these jobs can be done by young people, who'll be too busy washing purple paint off themselves to get into trouble.
Everywhere will look great.

16/7/08 Media Presents

The media have been reporting the events at Haltemprice and we have picked out a couple of many.

One from Time.com  and one from The Beeb  It costs 6 quid to have fun like this at Alton Towers.

11/07/08 The results...

The Media have decided to virtually sideline this election due to their being 25 "frivilous and independant candidates" It would seem that in order to be fair and maintain impartiality the Beeb have done the next best thing, ignore it,  so when an election in Scotland came along it was an obvious Godsend as then they wouldnt have to report the circus in Haltemprice. 

Meanwhile what a fantastic result. MadCow-girl (7th Place) would like to thank all the people of Haltemprice & Howden who cast their vote for the loony party. -They knew it made sense

By-election Candidates:

portraitMad Cow-Girl (Official Monster Raving Loony)  412


portraitDavid Davis (Conservative)  17,113
Shan Oakes (Green) 1758
Joanne Robinson (English Democrats) 1714

Chris Talbot (Socialist Equality) 84
portraitGemma Garrett (Miss Great Britain)  521
portraitRonnie Carroll (Make Politicans History) 

 

Hamish Howitt (Freedom 4 Choice)
David Craig (Independent)
Jill Saward (Independent)
portraitDavid Icke (No description)
Eamonn Fitzpatrick (Independent)
George Hargreaves (Christian Party)
portraitNorman Scarth (Independent)
Walter Sweeney (Independent)
Tess Culnane (National Front)
Grace Astley (Independent)
portraitDavid Bishop (Church of the Militant Elvis)
Herbert Crossman (Independent)
Thomas Darwood (Independent)
Tony Farnon (Independent)
Christopher Foren (Independent)

John Nicholson (Independent)
David Pinder (New Party)
John Upex (Independent)
Greg Wood (Independent

04/07/08 Don’t take F******* Liberties

The man who dosn’t like Mundays, but does like feeding the World (well the African bit anyway) has turned his attention from campaigning about Africa to Campaigning in Haltemprice.

Bob Geldof (who is a fan of Lord Sutch) will join ex-Tory frontbencher David Davis's fight on Friday (as he dosn’t like Mondays) against Labour's alleged erosion of ancient liberties. Being a keen advocat on African Issues we wonder if he will be endorsing Morgan Tsvangirai and highlighting Zimbabwes loss of any civil liberties.

03/07/08 I must confess this webmaster is a little confused regarding the reasons David Davis resigned and caused the latest by-election. I always thought that the job of an opposition was to oppose. To their credit they did. The Labour M.P's who disagreed with the 42 day rule didn't resign. Yet the Tory who didn't agree did resign even though his party didn't agree and agreed with him. Question: Is it me?

26/06/08 Henley Results

T.C.Owen ....OMRLP ........242Votes....I repeat 242 Votes A real gentleman and first class Candidate. Well done TC

 

Adams. Christopher mark ....UKIP.... 843

Allpass .John Derek....English Democrats....157

Cole. Louise.... Independant......91........Stunning. a welcome addition to the election

Howell. John.....Tory....19796 (E) ...This lot didnt even acknowledge us. they were very ignorant and I would be deeply concerned if this M.P was representing me, as he obviously didnt wish to consort with us lower mortals, and refused to shake Alan "howlin Laud" Hopes hand when offered in congratulations for winning.

Harrington. Amanda....Independant....128......stunning again... another welcome addition to the election

Kearney. Stephen...Liberal....9680

Mckenzie. Richard Labour....1066

Poole. James....The Fur play party....73.... Great bunch...definately one that the other parties should worry about in future years.

Rait. Timothy ....BNP.... 1243.....one we should all worry about in future years

Rodgers.Richard.....The common Good party....121

Stevenson. Mark.... Green Party....1321

15/06/08 Endorsing a Madcow

The Daily Record have endorsed Warner's candidacy on this account:

The poor folk of Haltemprice and Howden should show their contempt by giving the polls a bodyswerve. But if they must vote in this unnecessary £100,000 waste of time, we say: Vote Cow-Girl. OK, her track record's not great. She only polled 149 votes at the last general election in Sunderland South. And she wasn't much help to Nick The Flying Brick in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election last month. But, crucially, she's not as discredited as David Davis. Or MacKenzie, for that matter.

—The Daily Record, June 14, 2008


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