We are pleased to announce that our deposit has been paid and nomination papers officially accepted, yes we are up and running. Our candidate is our Illustrious Leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope. After a bit of a false start with our nominated agent Trevor Allman, he had a bit of trouble collecting the 10 names for the nomination paper.
Well done Trevor for trying, but maybe you shouldn’t have tried to do it, on a rainy day. Nevertheless on Weds 16th May we sent in reinforcements in the shape of ‘Chinners’ the Chin-up Boy, minister for Spinning and Bouncing, and ‘Knigel Knapp’, The Knight of the Unknown. Within an hour and a half, the mission was completed, thanks from us all for this sterling effort. All the electors names being obtained from ‘The Catford Con Club’ if that’s not sterling I don’t know what is. Well done, pat on the back (more like a pint of beer) to our two staunch stalwart party members. This is Looniness working together!
On Friday 18th, Chinners and myself spent time in the Boro of Lewisham depositing said monies and papers. The Election Officer, Jamie Baker seemed very pleased that we were standing, (it’s not a real election without you) was the attitude. Very amiable and helpful person, thank you Jamie.
Cant wait to get this show on the road now, not too sure where the count will be yet, but will be informed.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope.
Good People of Lewisham…..Voting is pretty simple really , ask yourself the question – Are you , your family and your neighborhood better off than it was the last time you voted . It was that great Loony, Albert Einstein that said “Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results” ??
We pledge to fight this By-election on an invisible platform so that people cannot see the floors in our policies.
Social Housing : We will continue to support and invest in our Public houses as they are the social meeting places in society. We will help to reduce binge drinking by allowing the pubs to open 36 hours a day.
We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris. ?
We will redevelop Playgrounds in Lewisham for all age groups.
The Civil Service will be extended to all branches of government, because a little politeness goes a long way.?
Carrier bags will be replaced by the more environmentally friendly Pigeon. This will also allow the owner to partake in one of the UK’s long lost pastimes.
To increase Jobs and wealth to the people of Lewisham….Once in power we will declare Lewisham independent from Westminster and convert Lewisham to an inshore Tax Haven
The British Museum should have a Daddy’s section alongside the current Mummy exhibition.??
We will rename the current Oyster cards, ‘Sardine Cards’ to better reflect the experience when travelling on public transport
We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park, this will save the UK thousands of pounds every day. Potholes deeper than 3 inches will be marked with a yellow plastic duck .??
All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner. ???
In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months ???
We propose to relocate the Lewisham to the countryside so that it’s residents can enjoy fresher air.??
To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks .??
We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will also introduce the Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?
Published by Mr R.U.Seerius on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party
Our Illustrious and stalwart party leader Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope is the obvious choice to be Lewisham East’s next MP. Howling is a familiar face on the political scene having previously fought 21 Parliamentary seats against Teresa May, David Cameron, Boris Johnson and many others. He is feeling jubilant as he has just been returned to serve on his local ‘Fleet Town Council’ Hampshire for another four years. This is his third win for this seat.
He has previously been the Town Mayor, Chairman of the Council, Lord of the Borough for Ashburton, Devon 1998 – 2000, and Ashburton Town Councillor for 13 years. So he has a lot to offer the people of Lewisham East. All these elections have been achieved on a ‘Loony Party’ ticket. If you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote Loony. Remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used.
>>Check out this article in ‘Medium.com’ – An online magazine<<
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Mob 07946292557
Heidi Alexander, a Labour MP, stood down yesterday to become the London deputy Mayor for Transport. She is vacating her Lewisham East seat.
The ‘Official Monster Raving Loony Party’ will be contesting this seat, in the shape of their well seasoned parliamentary candidate, party leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope. His running mate, agent, will be Trevor Allman, more commonly known as Lord Halfperson. He very recently stood in the recent local council elections in Blackheath Greenwich, polling 106 votes. Howling ‘Laud’ Hope however was returned to his local Town Council in Fleet, Hampshire, with an overwhelming amount of unopposed votes, for the third time running.
Nobody knows when this will happen yet, but keep an eye on www.loonyparty.com for regular updates. We are all looking forward to it with great anticipation, and Looniversal Sensibilism! Remember – The only wasted vote is one that’s not used!
The Howling ‘Laud’.
Farmin’ Lord Dave – Denton South – 206
Trevor Allman – Blackheath Greenwich -106
Chinners – Chessington North – 82
Howling Laud – Hart District – 60
Baron Badger – Walton North – 38
Monkey – Molesey East – 22
Although he didn’t make Hart District Council, ‘Howling Laud’ did retain his seat for another 4 years, with an overwhelming unopposed vote on Fleet Town Council.
Well done to all of you who actually stood, and a very big thank you to all those that voted for us. There was not one seat that had more than a 40% turn out, so 50% wasted votes. Imagine if they had all voted for us? The only wasted vote is one that’s not used. Looking
at it that way, if voting was made compulsory, I’d like to think that we’d
probably win – And that’s probably why it’s not!!!
A drink on me for all contestants at the conference and a bottle of wine for the outright winner, Farmin’ Lord Dave!
The Howling ‘Laud’
Chinners has installed a replica ‘Practice voting’ booth in the HQ, Cricketers pub in Chessington.
The idea, as explained in the booth, is to show people how easy it is to vote and of course has our strapline ‘THE ONLY WASTED VOTE IS ONE THAT ISN’T USED’
This is a list of our candidates in the May local elections:
- Howling ‘Laud’ Hope, our Party Leader was elected unopposed to the Fleet Town Council on Friday 6th April, 4 weeks almost before the official election on 3rd May. – And on May 3rd he will additionally be standing for the Hart District Council in the Fleet Central Ward.
- ‘Farming Lord Dave’ (Pictured) – Denton South Ward Metropolitan Borough Council
- Lord Halfperson – Blackheath Westcombe Ward, Greenwich
- Badger – Walton North, Elmbridge, Surrey
- Monkey the Drummer – Molesey East, Elmbridge, Surrey
- Chinners – Chessington North & Hook, Kingston upon Thames, Surrey
Chinners has arranged his Victory celebrations with ‘Jump the Gun‘ performing on Wed 2nd May at the Cricketers pub, 81 Clayton Road, Chessington.
Badger and Monkey the Drummer will be holding their Victory Party at The Oak pub, Walton Road, West Molesey on Thurs 3rd May with Crucial Chris Dowling and MOJO Crew leading the victory celebrations.
Joe Jammer may appear at either of these events!