In the time of the New Year honours by her majesty Liz, we proclaim the following who has been overlooked behind all the oh-so unworthy winners of the annual gongs.
International model superstar, Scarlet Bouvier, has now been given the joint ownership of the OFFICIAL party whip of the OFFICIAL Monster Raving Loony Party. She has graciously accepted the role and declared that ‘it’s the highlight of my drinking career so far’
In these divisive times for our political opponents, she promises to ensure that our party will be whipped into shape at the first signs of any transgressions!
Under her command the party whip will not be IN or OUT but regularly applied to SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!
I trust you all had a Pretty Loony Christmas, I did, but then again I always do.
2018 was quite an eventful year, I started off January in Lanzarote with the Canarian Loonys. Then in March with the Mediterranean Loonys in Malta.
In April I managed to retain my seat on the Fleet Town Council where I live, with a massive amount of ‘unopposed votes’ I am still Chairman of Highways and Transport and vice Chair of Planning. And well done to all the other members that stood in their various seats (that sounds pretty loony to me)
May didn’t go as well as expected though, didn’t get on as a District Councillor, that’s still to come Hopefully.
June saw us all invade Lewisham for a By-election. As usual we didn’t come last, we were 9th out of 14 candidates. Later on in June I was up in Rotherham with our Yorkshire gang, then on to Hartlepool for the wedding of two of our members George and Dottie Stuart.
In July I was guest of honour to open a local Garden Party in Cove, Hampshire, for the Phylis Tuckwell charity, raised £2,500.
August saw me down on the south coast, Seaford, Bexhill and Hastings, keeping in touch, and meeting people of our like kind.
September, we all converged into Belper Derbyshire for our Annual Conference, the 34th to be precise. A good time was had by all.
Oct – Nov pretty quiet, good job too.
For any more detail of the things mentioned in my yearly round up, see – loonyparty.com Special thanks to Joe Jammer for his release of the latest Loony Party song ‘Oh Oh’.
My life story book is well under way, being ‘Ghost Written’ by Patric (no K) Downes.
Once again a sad farewell to Boney Maroney and Chrissy Laugh and a Half, may you both rest in peace. Yet again, thanks to all of you that joined us, in any of the events that you did, and a warm welcome to all new members.
Conference 2019 has not been finalised as yet, but should be confirmed in February, once again the last weekend of September, so mark it in your diary. It will be a big one, it will mark my 20th year as your ‘Loony Party Leader’, the longest serving leader in British Politics. With special thanks to our team, Flying, RU, the Baron, Chinners, Knapper and all.
So Christmas has gone by once more, all that’s left for me to say is ‘Have a Happy New Year’. See you all next time, whenever and wherever.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
We propose a referendum on whether there should be another referendum . . . .
The Loony Party has forgotten when we last took instructions from the French & Germans?
Answers on a postcard please!
Nick the Flying Brick
In the last budget, just recently, Philip Hammond laid aside £420,000,000 for potholes.
The Loony Party has proposed, for many a year, that Potholes should be given an ACV, (asset of community value). Save our potholes for our young to cherish in history. We have also, over time, suggested that all potholes, when full of water, should have a yellow plastic duck floating in them, instead of a ring painted around them so that they are easier to see.
As of always, we know from previous ideas of ours, that Government do take notice eventually. I’ve been told on more than one occasion by various MPs, that they will always look at our manifesto because there is always something in there that rings true. I’m prepared to think that this is another one of ours that has come into fruition. Lets take the credit for it!
Our 34th annual party conference was held in Belper, Derbyshire, on Thurs 27 Sept till Sun 30th. We didn’t know what to expect after being in Blackpool for the last 3 years, but need not have worried, the town welcomed us with open arms. I had been promoting the show, media wise, for 3 months or more. So much so, that we made front page news in the local Belper newspaper 2 weeks before we got there. So it set the scene for a fantastic long weekend of idiocracy and loonacy, much better than all the other party’s could ever hope to achieve. Although they do try and maybe, just now and again, they do out-loony us!
The ‘Sunday Politics Show East Midlands’ filmed the Conference which can be picked up on IPlayer. Their parting shot after filming was that “we are much more fun than all the other party’s put together”.
Thursday saw lots of Loonys arriving, meeting and greeting. It was great to see more people attending earlier than Friday or Saturday. Dale Rowles and myself were invited to do an interview for local radio ‘Amber Valley Sound’ in late afternoon, which helped to promote the conference.
Delegates flew in from Germany, Jersey, West Virginia, Chicago, Scotland and Wales and all points of Great Britain. After a lot of banter and policy making, (which nobody remembers doing) we prepared for the weekend of events. Friday night opened up with a great set of influential political songs from ‘The Big Fibbers’. Special guest Gareth Icke, (yes the son of David) then entertained us, he was very good, his father would have been proud of him had he have been there, he was invited. Then ‘Gripper and the Gurnards’ playing their third conference for us, (you’ve got be good to play for us more than once), and once more we shall see them again, I’ve no doubt. Well done lads.
At 12 noon on Saturday we met up at our conference centre ‘The George and Dragon’ to visit local hostelries for our promotional tour of the town. Everyone greeted us with a smile. We were joined now by ‘The Black Pig Border Morris Team’ who are all party members. We danced for 3 hours from the ‘The Old Kings Head’ and sang from ‘The British Legion’, into the main high street where the buses stopped to allow passengers to watch. On to ‘The Railway’, then into ‘Arkwrights’ in Campbell St. We had already visited ‘The Lion’ and ‘Pump it Up’ on our way into town, so made our way back to ‘The Rifleman’ then back to the Conference centre for our annual ‘Cabinet Reshuffle!’
The Leaders speech was next on the agenda, after delegates had stopped laughing, they all gathered in the main hall waiting for proceedings to begin.
First to speak was the Party Chairman the ‘Jersey Flyer’ who welcomed and thanked all for attending before handing over to the Party Leader Howling ‘Laud’ Hope. He gave an exciting insight as to what had happened throughout the year much to the applause and bravo’s from the intently listening audience. Thanked all who had stood in their local elections in 2018 and a special welcome to all who had travelled from overseas. On a slightly sadder note he mentioned a couple of party members who are no longer with us, Christina Laugh and a Half – and Boney Morony, they are gone but not forgotten. We had a whole minutes laugh in their memory, and paid homage with a small libation.
On to the evening, local band ‘ManPant’ started the proceedings with the landlord of the ‘George and Dragon’, Craig, as lead vocalist, which surprised us all. At this point I wish to thank Craig and his staff for their hospitality over a great weekend.
Joe Jammer from Chicago gave a rousing performance with the new Loony Party ‘Oh Oh’ song.(as advertised below) Plus a fine set of other classic Rock’n’Roll tunes. Superbly accompanied by ‘The Loony Party Allstars’
Montague Jacques Fromage 111 from Viginia gave us an insight into the ‘Steam Punk Rap World’ while compèreing the show. Next up was Dale Rowles and his BB Blackdog Band, they are quite local, so always a crowd puller. Party Members ‘Chinners’ and ‘Tiger Jones’ couldn’t resist singing a couple of songs with the bands. All ending with the final act Mr Badaxe. He has to go on at the end for inexplicable reasons. His T-shirts don’t have tour venues on the back, but all the places he is been banned from! We just shout for more! Special thanks to Dale for all his local expertise and knowledge when arranging this wonderful fiasco of superfluous amusement.
We don’t know yet where next year’s conference is, we have options to explore. Back to Belper maybe, Hook in Hampshire, Brighton, Blackpool, Manchester would be good if we can pull it off, as that’s where next year’s Tory conference will be. Hartlepool has been mentioned also Mablethorpe or Skegness in Lincolnshire. All of you who have been and seen, will realise that it can’t happen without your help, so if you have any ideas let us know. A decision will be made early next year. To this end I would like to thank all who had an input into ‘The Belter in Belper’. Thankyou to all who follow us, especially our members. Even more so the local Belperians. See you all again whenever, keep an eye on – loonyparty.com- and you won’t go far wrong!
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope