Jeremy Corbyn has brought out a new policy that if they win the next election, St Georges day would be a National Holiday.
The Loony party would like to point out that this is a policy that we proposed many years ago. . . If we ruled you would already be having a day off today (St Georges was on Sunday this year). Once again the other parties are using our policies, many years after we proposed them. . . this happens all the time. . .
The conclusion is clear, vote loony for yesterdays policies . . . tomorrow.
In the event of the by-election in Gorton going ahead I promise that the Loony Party will fix all issues and problems in Gorton and surrounding area within my three weeks in Parliament. The Loony Party is calling for a “try before you buy” election and Gorton will be the first time this great idea will be tested.
Vote Vote Vote! #mpforaweek
Theresa May has today threatened to call an election for June 8th 2017.
I say threatened as she needs a vote in Parliament (which she will probably get)
Our Leader Alan Howlin Laud Hope has already issued a statement telling Loony Candidates to get ready for Government. . .
As usual we will be publishing our manicfesto shortly so we can all be reading from a different page. . . Candidates are asked to contact us asap if you are going to stand (only definite candidates required). This is our chance to get our first M.P in Parliament.
Don’t forget if you are in the “Gorton” Manchester area we still have our candidate “Johnny Disco” standing on 4th May.
In keeping with the Labour Party’s latest bid to get one or two pensioners to vote for them they have brought out a new policy guaranteeing the Triple lock on pensions until 2025 if they get voted in.
The Loony party of course will go one better and buy a padlock, and as its now safer than a bank, new mattresses for all pensioners on less than 20p per week.
Muncunian born and bred ‘The Irrelevant Johnny Disco’ is our candidate for the by-election in Manchester Gorton. The parliamentary by-election is being held on the 4th May and Loony head office is extremely confident in victory. My the Farce be with you Johnny D. D-I-S-C-O for Gorton.
Simeon Palin, more commonly know as Sim to all his friends, has left us to go to that big mansion in the sky. Sim was a LoonyParty, ‘Sym’ pathiser. He loved all that we did, he attended the Conferences in Jersey, the two in Fleet, plus the two in Hook, and also the five that were held in Yateley. He had spent a little time in Hospital recently, we expected him home, but it was not to be. Cheerio Sim, from us all!
It is with great sadness that I have to report the news that Dancing Ken has passed away. Ken stood for the Loony Party in Cheltenham on more than a couple of occasions. Attended conferences in Yateley, Hampshire and a big friend of Sir George Ridgeon. Ken was a hero in his own local area, raising thousands of pounds for charity. He also loved American Country Music, (country and western), he ran a very successful C&W club in Cheltenham. He passed away on 1st April, if your gonna go, you couldn’t pick a better day to do it Ken. All fools day! So long my friend from all in the Party, you can out dance them all now, in that Ballroom in the Sky!
We would like to express our condolences to all the families, friends and relatives of any person caught up in the terrible events of last Wednesday.