The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

Thursday May 2nd 2019
Election for candidate to represent Fleet Central on Hart District Council
Hart Needs Hope
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope is standing as a member of the ‘Official’ Monster Raving Loony Party.
The only party that is on your side no matter what your political persuasion may be. If you’ve always thought I’d like to vote for ‘none of the above’, you can, I am ‘none of the above’. If you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote for me. Remember, the only wasted vote is one that’s not used. I intend to stand for ‘Things’. Things that are good for the town, Things that need doing, Things that will bring us together as one happy community.
Have been a Fleet Town Councillor for the last 9 years. Ex Town Mayor, Chairman of the Council, Lord of the Borough of Ashburton in Devon 1998-99-2000.
Born in Mytchett, raised in Farnborough. Attended 3 local schools. Have lived in Fleet now for 15 years, yes I am that local.

To help the environment our policy of fitting air conditioners on the outside of buildings has now been taken up….Another Loony Policy taken by others (not that we mind)

Marylebone in central London has some of the worst air pollution levels in the country due to its congested roads.
But the 60,000 commuters passing through the railway station every day will now breathe air that is 95% cleaner.

For the first time in its history, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party finds itself in the unusual position of probably being the sanest option for voters.
With a general election imminent, they have even beaten the other parties to an election advertising campaign which highlights why the Official Monster Raving Loony Party might just be the most sensible choice at the ballot box.
Parliament is in meltdown because the major parties are incapable of providing any answers to anything. They can’t even agree with their own party members. So why shouldn’t the Loony Party have their say in running the country?
It can’t possibly get any crazier than it is at the moment.

Barmy Lord Brockman is being a star on Twitter at present and is standing for Evesham Town & Wychavon District Council Elections in the South Ward. He had a hiccup with his forms but is now sorted.
He can’t believe it – the people have spoken and they’ve said “Its Time To Put an Official Loony on the Council, one of my nominees was disqualified, so I stepped outside and within 1 minute 46 seconds I had a replacement , #LoonyLove is all around me!

Both Badger and BLB plan to “Demand a PeoplesREvote should they not get the outcome they want and will DEMAND a further 22 elections (best of 23) like they do with frames of Snooker!!
Chinners

The 3rd Earl of Harrow was a well-known statesman whose inspiration came directly from our School. His entry can be found in Wikipedia. This confirms that David Edward Sutch (1940-1999), 3rd Earl of Harrow, was also known as Screaming Lord Sutch, a lead singer with his own band, and founder of the Monster Raving Loony Party.
Sutch was recognisable at election counts by his crazy clothes and top hat. He added “Lord” to his name by deed poll. In the 1980’s they raised the deposit paid by Parliamentary candidates to £500 from £150, but this did nothing to deter him. His highest poll was in Rotherham in 1994, with 4.2 % of the vote. He stood and lost in more than 40 Parliamentary elections, a record.
I acquired Lord Sutch’s home address from his bass player. He lived with his mum at the foot of Harrow Hill. I cold-called this statesman at his home and he told me that the inspiration for his career came from seeing Winston Churchill, when Prime Minister in the 1950’s, being driven up the Hill, to attend Harrow Songs.
Like Churchill, Sutch’s policies were radical. He wanted the rate of VAT raised, to increase the value of everything. To secure data, he wanted it all stored in the PM’s underpants drawer. Quitters would be encouraged not to start in the first place. Cars would be made more economic by fitting bungy ropes for return journeys. To reduce colour prejudice, grey squirrels would be painted red. Air bags would be fitted to the Exchequer in preparation for the next crash. The Defence Department would economise on shoe leather by making squaddies march longer paces. The NHS would economise by having X-ray machines manned by a skeleton staff. Class divides would be reduced by making the entire House of Lords speak Mockney. A Frivolous Fraud Office would be established to lighten the load on the Serious Fraud Office. Greyhound racing will be subsidised to stop the country going to the dogs.
I asked David Sutch if I could be his Education Minister in his forthcoming government, and he gave me that position right there on his mum’s doorstep. But I was shocked and surprised when he sacked me the following week in favour of the boxer, Frank Bruno. As an MA in PPE, I should have seen it coming.
At a party we gave in Holland Park in 1993, I proudly introduced Lord Sutch to Lord Merlin Sudeley, an equally singular politician. You can see each of them speaking on Youtube.
Inspired by Sutch, I stood in the Newbury By Election in 1993, on the ticket GIVE THE ROYAL BILLIONS TO SCHOOLS. This was the annis horribilis for the Royals, with Diana, Fergie and Charles running amok. I adjudged that to be bad form. And I got a great number of votes, a fine achievement, considering I was fighting against 18 other candidates, in the ‘Royal’ county of Berkshire, did no canvassing, and organised only one interview, that of my wife, The Hon, holding forth as my Education Spokesperson, though she had never been to school, being taught by nuns.
The full result of that bye-election, including Sutch’s and my total of votes, can be found in Wikipedia, under Newbury By-Election 1993. Of course Sutch defeated me, as he always did. Yet I much regret the passing of the 3rd Earl. I am glad that he is buried so near Harrow, in Pinner Cemetery.
His music, by the way, was also revolutionary. He employed a drummer with no sense of rhythm at all.
Mike Stone, Moretons 1957/2