Runcorn & Helsby By election Manicfesto

Manicfesto for Runcorn Bye Bye Election 2025

We will stand for this election on the basis that the Loony Party although a small political party will always punch above our weight.

As the Government assure us that there is no problem with the burning of waste at the Runcorn Incinerator, we will reinstall it next to The Houses of Parliament.  Well, its perfectly safe isn’t it?

As part of the Regenerating Runcorn plan we will build a space port

We will get rid of VAT as it adds no value.

Fly Tipping..We will ban all tipping of flys, insects, and zips of any kind..

We will replace employees of the Border Force with GP receptionists. This will dramatically reduce the number of people getting in.

To help with the cost of Living and to raise money for the Treasury we will Convert Numbers 10 and 11 Downing Street into a Hair salon, Which we will call ‘Government CutZ’

Along with the existing Government policy for levelling up the North with the South, we will provide free Spirit Levels to all.

The MOT is an annual test to ensure that your car is roadworthy. We will introduce a ROT, an annual test to make sure all roads are car worthy.

In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months ?

We will reduce hospital waiting lists by using a smaller font.

To make things fairer we will introduce a Court of Human Lefts.

Once in Government, we will replace the Foreign Secretary with a British one!

Published by Mr R.U.Seerius for Alan Howlin Laud Hope on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. 59 Newbarn Close..Fleet. Hants GU51 5HU

Howling Toy

Everyone needs more Howling Laud in their life, it must be true because Alan says so. Here’s your chance to take your Looniness to the next level by purchasing something that absolutely doesn’t exist.
In a world gone bonkers, one man stands taller than a pint of lukewarm ale at a village fête, wearing a hat large enough to house a small badger. He’s the only politician promising free teabags for all and a unicorn in every garage, with manicfestos scribbled on beer mats and policies dreamt up in the pub loo of Wetherspoons.
To purchase this non-existent product, get down to The Prince Arthur in Fleet with a crisp tenner in your eager little hand and a credit card to buy all the drinks. In return you will be given a copy of Alan’s book – whether you want one or not. And remember, vote Loony, because it makes no sense at all.
Tina

Howling’s boxing for Runcorn on the 1st May

Howling Laud Hope is our candidate for Runcorn & Helsby’s by-election.
I drove up to Runcorn last Monday where I met Raving ‘Runcorn’ Rodent at The Ferry Boat, Wetherspoons. We were prepared for a rumble with monster knockout gloves and collected all of Howling’s nominations before the first round!
Nick the Flying Brick

Teddyboy Tempest at Drayton Manor, Tamworth

All confirmed. We will do our full Screaming Lord Sutch Tribute show only once this year and that will be at the Teddyboy Tempest weekend at Drayton Manor Resort, Tamworth (which runs from the 14th to the 16th November).
We are scheduled to play on the Friday night at 11.00pm and our show will capture the best in Lord Sutch’s rock ‘n’ roll theatricals and madcap Raving Loony antics.
Appearing in our line up that night will also be 2 legends of Rock ‘n’ Roll music: Steve Carter on guitar and Dave Thorncroft on Sax… Both of whom have a long history playing along side Lord Sutch back in the day.
Further details and tickets here: https://www.ducktails.uk/product/teddy-boy-weekender/
Dave Savage

Visit to Ledbury

Some time a go I had a phone call from Robin Oakey asking about our Loony Party, I invited him to attend our last conference in Belper and he asked if we would hold a Conference at his venue ‘The Barn’ in Ledbury. Last weekend I visited along with Lawd Lawson, OB Joyful and our Mem Sec Baron Von Thunderclap. It is a rustic and unique barn in the middle of a bustling town. We spent four days there and Robin and his team are great hosts, we enjoyed every moment of it.
We were entertained by an excellent Screaming Lord Sutch tribute act called Jesse Merry, plus an Undertaker/Mortician called John O’Looney, yes that was his real name, telling story’s that you wouldn’t believe! I made my party speech on the Sunday to every ones delight.
I note that The Baron has reported that I have forsaken my White Suit. I had traveled halfway there and suddenly realised ‘****’ I’ve left my suit at home, so had to improvise. Luckily Robin had a ‘Merlin the Wizard’ coat which he loaned to me, it fitted very well and after seeing it was made for me he said ‘It’s yours!’
So its looking like, unless anything changes, thanks to Robin, it will be Loony Party Conference time 2025 in Ledbury, Heredforshire. Sept 25-26-27. More updates nearer the time.
Howling Laud Hope Party Leader

Baron Von Thunderclap’s Report from Ledbury

Main point no more ‘man in the white suit’. Howlin’ is now the ‘man in the blue kaftan’. He borrowed it for this gig and liked it so much a deal was done and he’s now adopted it.
The weekend started badly when both Dangerous Dave and the rejuvenated Lord Sutch pulled out due to throat infections so the music was cancelled.
Some local musicians picked up the baton and put on a bit of a show before Lord Sutch fresh from a 25 year residency at Pinner new cemetery made enough of a recovery to attend.
Despite only managing a reduced set due to his bad throat it was enough to prove what a great musician he is starting with the favourite ‘Jack the ripper’ followed by many self penned tracks. Just like our spiritual leader he’s a great showman but has the advantage that he can actually sing!!
Our hosts at ‘The Barn’ were lovely, even sending out for a mass fish and chip meal to feed 10 of us.
The locals were also very friendly (although there may be a backlash from some of the parents whose children we gave kazoos to!) and the town is lively with plenty of pubs. Perhaps a good venue for our conference?
Baron Von Thunderclap

Lady Green & her Saddest Show on Earth

Fellow Loony’s, I will be at this exhibition on the 22nd & 30th March for those who would like to come and say hi! The exhibition will be open and staffed every other day from 18-30th March, so please do visit any other day (particularly if you don’t like crowds and want to see the artwork in a more peaceful environment)!


Lady Green