Good People of Lewisham…..Voting is pretty simple really , ask yourself the question – Are you , your family and your neighborhood better off than it was the last time you voted . It was that great Loony, Albert Einstein that said “Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results” ??
We pledge to fight this By-election on an invisible platform so that people cannot see the floors in our policies.
Social Housing : We will continue to support and invest in our Public houses as they are the social meeting places in society. We will help to reduce binge drinking by allowing the pubs to open 36 hours a day.
We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris. ?
We will redevelop Playgrounds in Lewisham for all age groups.
The Civil Service will be extended to all branches of government, because a little politeness goes a long way.?
Carrier bags will be replaced by the more environmentally friendly Pigeon. This will also allow the owner to partake in one of the UK’s long lost pastimes.
To increase Jobs and wealth to the people of Lewisham….Once in power we will declare Lewisham independent from Westminster and convert Lewisham to an inshore Tax Haven
The British Museum should have a Daddy’s section alongside the current Mummy exhibition.??
We will rename the current Oyster cards, ‘Sardine Cards’ to better reflect the experience when travelling on public transport
We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park, this will save the UK thousands of pounds every day. Potholes deeper than 3 inches will be marked with a yellow plastic duck .??
All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner. ???
In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months ???
We propose to relocate the Lewisham to the countryside so that it’s residents can enjoy fresher air.??
To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks .??
We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will also introduce the Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?
Published by Mr R.U.Seerius on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party