This will be the sixth General Election in which I have stood as candidate in Sittingbourne & Sheppey, which is more than any of the other candidates and hence consider myself to be the “Father of the General Election”. As the most senior figure I am setting an example to the others.
- Free canned laughter for all folk from the jovial to the grave.
- Legalise mixed metaphors then we will lead the world in having the oyster at our feet.
- To improve pedestrian access to the West Country we will be buying a Stairway to Devon.