Our Leader & Harriet Harman in South Shields

So soon after the ‘Eastleigh’ By-election in February, came another in ‘South Shields’ in May. Barely had time to put the white suit away, and it was out on the road again, for us valiant Loonies Nick ‘The Flying Brick’ was well and truly on form again, travelling from Derby up to the ‘North East’ to collect the ten names we need to stand, and did it almost in record time he says. With all the preliminarys taken care of, and a party HQ sorted at ‘The Douglas Vaults Hotel’ the main thrust of our invasion began on Wed 24th April, our leader ‘Howling Laud Hope’ was on hand to appear on TV, Radio and all other media factions, as and when they happened. Nine days of ‘Geordie’ hospitality, what a wonderful bunch of people, but then I should have known, my own parents were from up that way. So a bit rubs of on me I suppose.
Nevertheless all the usual rigmarole, fun and games, went as planned, or unplanned, I suppose is a better way of putting it, you never know who your going to meet, or in most cases ‘what will happen next’.
Lord Toby Jug and Lady Jezebel Luxury-Yacht arrived three days before the count and added fire to the campaign, although both Toby and I were also standing in our own constuencies for our respective County Councils on the same day. (catch up with that in other reports). We met up once again with one of our admirers ‘Nigel Farrage’ always good to see him,and always has a laugh and a joke, and goes out of his way to tell people of the things that we have achieved since our inauguration. We also had a ‘run in’ with Miss Harriet Ha Ha Harman, the Labour Party Deputy Leader, well running in the same High Street that is, we certainly made ouselves known, outshouting her entourage to the delight of some of the locals. She took it quite well, or tried to make out that she did with a smile on her face, but underneath you could hear her crying ‘Go away, Leave us alone’. Well we did, but not before she knew that we were there!
Thurs 2nd May Polling Day, now arrives Mr R.U.Seerius and Lady Hell ‘n’ Back along with our intrepid ‘Flying Brick’ and also ‘Cardinal’ Maximus Bobetsky, all ready and up for the count. The count night always has an auspicious air about it, and this one was of no let down, we came, we saw, we went away with 194 votes.
Maybe the loudest cheer when results were read out,and congratulations all round.
Trouble was — Ukip stole all our votes, but we shall steal ’em back!
Even so with their sudden upsurge we still managed a nice number of votes, more than some other By-elections. Who is losing them, ask yourselves!
Still a very low turn-out, just over 25%, do you know, it’s quite obvious that the biggest Political Party isn’t any party that we have ever heard of, its the Non-Voting Party.
If all of those voted for us, we would win, the amout of people who said “I dont vote cause I dont trust ’em” was incredible. We in the Loony Party have a new catch phrase ** If you dont usually vote, then vote unusually, VOTE LOONY**
I would like to thank Stuart and his staff in ‘The Vaults’ for their hospitality, Paul Kelly of the South Shields Gazette for his friendliness and coverage, all the people who voted for us, and all those who didn’t, just for being there. Thankyou all!
Watch out for future dates —- Portsmouth South and Clitheroe maybe!!!!!
The Howling Laud