Along with the existing Government policy for levelling up the North with the South we will provide free Spirit Levels to all
We will reduce inflation by giving everyone free pins.
To make trains safer, we will fit them all with cushions on the front.
Any possible schemes thought up by Government, Council , NHS etc, such as closure of Hosptitals, workplace parking levy etc will be preceded with a Public Consultation which we will then ignore.
We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will introduce the Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?. #sleaze for the many not just the few
We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris.
All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner.
In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months ?
To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks.
With Government helped finance, AstraZeneca should buy out Pfizer, then, as we would have the rights to Viagra, the economy may stay up longer.
Redundant Red Phones boxes will be converted to bijou accommodation to ease the housing shortage.
To make things fairer we will introduce a Court of Human Lefts.