Archives
Economic Solution
The Government have made it quite clear that a contributory factor in the present economic downturn is bad management of Hedge funds. It is proposed that all hedge funds will be banned and replaced with a proper brick wall, with footings.
Council Election in Waddon
WE START 2009 WITH A RECESSION AND PROBLEMS AROUND THE WORLD BUT AS ALWAYS WE LAUGH IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY. and the first election of the year: We are pleased to announce that our candidate for Croyden John Cartwright will be standing at the council election in Waddon constituency on 12th Feb. Good Luck… Read More
Music once again under threat
Another piece of proposed legislation that will adversely affect live music in the UK: It has been brought to attention that the government wish to consider it a legal requirement in the new tax year to introduce laws insisting anyone applying or re-applying for an entertainment license must have a noise control device fitted to… Read More
We leave 2008 with this
While on his morning walk, Prime Minister Gordon Brown falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency dept at his nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time. So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Welcome to Heaven,” says Saint… Read More
Not a PC Christmas
We have been sent in a couple of ideas for those gentlemen who don’t know what to buy their wives/girlfriends for Christmas. For the computer literate Handy womens toolkit
Disgruntled voter
Sir, It seems that by following the Governments example of being prudent, people including myself are being penalised. I, who have worked very hard to put some money aside and save, did not go on holidays, or buy goods on credit cards and did not build up large debts. I have put money aside for… Read More
A Hanging Offence
It is proposed to systematicly destroy all wire coat hangers. Shirts slip off them. People hang them on doorhandles. They bend when you hang jeans on them. The flick off rails. They join together in pairs. The gaggle in dodgy, tinny, wiry orgies, tingling nastily. They have a static sneer. Have you ever actually seen anybody… Read More
Health Matters: show by example
To stop young people’s excessive drinking and having a good time the politicians should convert all their 30 or 40 bars at Westminster into milk bars. Their restaurants should be converted into salad bars to show solidarity with school children, how to improve their health and fitness.
Peace Plan – Proposed by Lord Helpus
To help the israel/palestine problems, we should get rid of the old fashioned road map, and give them a sat nav instead.
Balanced View – Proposed by Lookman
All politicians should be made to stand continually on one leg while making speeches to check how balanced their arguments are. It should also reduce political flatulence and soothe the listeners ears