Birmingham Erdington By-election Manicfesto

Good people of Erdington
Dare you vote Loony? Below are a few reasons why you should..
You know it Makes Sense.

  1. When formulating Policies the Government relies heavily on Expert Advise.The Loony Party will also take into account the opinion of “Dave on Facebook”Remember experts built the Titanic
  2. Any possible schemes thought up by Government Council , NHS etc,  (such as closure of Hospitals, workplace parking levy etc) in the Erdington area will be preceded with a public consultation which we will then ignore.
  3. We will reduce inflation by giving everyone free pins
  4. Along with the existing Government policy for leveling up the North with the South we will provide free spirit levels to all
  5. We will reduce hospital waiting lists by using a smaller font.
  6. We will reduce net migration by making sure that any nets are secured more firmly to the ground.
  7. With developers and councils increasingly in collusion with each other, we propose to upgrade the status of the greenbelt to that of a black-belt to prevent them from messing with it any further!
  8. All hospitals will have an In-patients Dept. , Out-patients Dept. and a shake it all about patients Dept.
  9. We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will introduce a Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?. #sleaze for the many not just the few
  10. In order to calm down the passions and stresses currently exhibited in Parliament,the Loony Party would make all M.P’s have half an hours compulsory Tai chi everyday.This would counteract the other 23 ½ hours Chi Ting they do for the rest of the time.
  11. We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris.
  12. All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner
  13. The Civil Service will be extended to all branches of government, because a little politeness goes a long way.
  14. To increase Jobs and wealth to the people of Erdington. Once in power we will declare Erdington independent from Westminster and convert Erdington to an inshore Tax Haven.
  15. The British Museum should have a Daddy’s section alongside the current Mummy exhibition.
  16. In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months.
  17. To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks.

Published on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party 59 New Barn Close, Fleet, Hants GU51 5HU