UK Tax Guidance plan with respect to the British Tax Economic Stimulus Payment.
During our research we spoke to a Treasury spokesman:

Q. Sometime this year, we, the British taxpayers, will again receive another ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment..
What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment?
A.  It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.
Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A.  From taxpayers.
Q.  So the government is giving us back our own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q.. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

We spoke to a Trade and Industry spokesperson:

Q. If we spend our stimulus money at Asda or Tesco, where will the money go?
A. The money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka …

Q. If we spend our stimulus money on petrol, where will the money go?
A. The money will go to the Arabs.

Q. If you purchase a computer, where will the money go?
A. It will go to India , Taiwan or China …

Q  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, where will the money go?
A.It will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ….

Q. If you buy an efficient car, where will the money go?
A. It will go to Japan or Korea ….

Q. If you purchase useless stuff, where will the money go?
A. It will go to Taiwan …

Q. If you pay your credit cards off, or buy shares, where will the money go?
A. It will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

LOONY PARTY CONCLUSION
We Should keep the money in the UK by:
1) Spending it at car boot sales,
or
2) Going to night clubs,
or
3) Spending it on prostitutes,
or
4) Buying beer or whisky,
or
5) Get yourself a Tattoo
or
6) Visit a bookie.
(These are the only UK owned domestic businesses still operating in the U.K. )
Conclusion:
Be patriotic – go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night!

Secret Squirrel,
MRL,Dunny On The Wold,(MP),
Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.