Howling Laud in North East Hampshire

I, Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope, live in Fleet, N E Hants, so yes, in your constituency. I have been the leader of this party for the last 20 years, currently Britains longest serving party leader. We are the party that’s on your side no matter what ‘Political
Persuasion’ you may be. Please remember that the only wasted vote is one that’s not used. If you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote for me. If you have ever thought, I want to vote for ‘none of the above’, I am none of the above. In this case I shall be in the middle of your voting slip, so am also none of the below.
So c’mon , lets see if we can get a couple of thousand votes between us, it wont win, but it will certainly shake them up. He’s behind you, you’d better get it right, or else!!!
Yours Pollingly
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope