CLEGG OPPONENT CAN’T EVEN RELY ON VOTE FROM HIS OWN SISTER!

NICK CLEGG’s sudden elevation to the most popular politician since time began has given the contenders from other parties standing against him in his Hallam constituency in Sheffield even bigger problems than they anticipated in ousting the Lib Dem Leader. And Mark ‘Zammo’ Adshead, who is standing for the Monster Raving Loony William Hill Party, now fears he is heading for a record low total of NO votes at all. ‘I knew I was already up against it when I decided to stand, as but now I’m doubtful that even my own sister, Sarah, who had said she would vote for me, will be able to resist voting for Clegg. Still, if I can manage a complete blank I will be a Loony Legend as the Party has tried for years to make a political breakthrough like being the first ever to poll nought. Even our founder, the late Screaming Lord Sutch never managed to achieve that’Bookies William Hill, who are sponsoring the Loony Party at the Election, are offering 250/1 that any Loony candidate will poll no votes at all. ‘If Zammo’s sister does decide not to vote for him that 250/1 could prove very good value’ said Hill’s spokesman Graham Sharpe. Hills make Clegg 1/9 to win the seat.