I was the candidate in Uxbridge. A very special thank you to A.Gent Chinners for obtaining the 10 nominations for me.

I campaigned in the constituency for ten days. Sir Tim Martin kindly let me use ‘The Good Yarn’ for use as my campaign HQ where I met a lot of nice people.

Word soon got around that I was there and a few of the seventeen candidates paid me a visit. Many Loony party faithful came too, ‘Mad Mike Young’ came from the Isle of Sheppey, ‘Sheikh Mihand’ visited from Kent, O.B.Joyful and Lawd Lawson drove up from Hampshire, and local Richard Ri- DICK-ulous Johnson.

Many lined up for a Wetherspoon photo which will be in a forthcoming Spoons Magazine. I did five radio shows and several interviews, all telling me that I was going to do well. My Hope’s were quite Hopeful, in fact I had High Hopes.

On to the count night, by now I had been joined By Ben Definitely, a TV producer and Film Maker who is making a Loony Party documentary. Also A Gent Chinnery and Ri-DICK-ulous Johnson, we were all booked in for the count. We arrived to the usual accolade, ‘Great to see you here, its not a real election if your not’. Cameras flashing, microphones pushing up to you, all a sense of ‘were going to do well here’. Some great banter with Count Binface and Piers Corbyn. All working up to the final finale. . .

The result, how very disappointing, all the hype and I got just 32 votes, the only saving grace is that I didn’t come last. Labour were odds on to win by a million miles and didn’t, even the Cons were quite surprised.

It was so close they had a recount, and I was Hoping that there would be more votes for me, but they never came!
So there it is, I’ve now done thirty two Parliamentary Elections, nine of those being General Elections, a record in Great Britain for standing in the most Generals belongs to me, at the moment.
Here’s to the next time. See you all at the Conference in September.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope