Wakefield Proposed Manicfesto

People of Wakefield its time to Wake-up and vote for the only Candidate at this election  with No Strings Attached. Vote Sir Archibald Stanton Earl ‘Eaton

  • Along with the existing Government policy for levelling up the North with the South we will provide free Spirit Levels to all.
  • We will reduce inflation by giving everyone free pins.
  • To make trains safer, we will fit them all with cushions on the front.
  • Any possible schemes thought up by Government Council , NHS etc,  (such as closure of Hospitals, workplace parking levy etc) in the Wakefield area will be preceded with a Public Consultation which we will then ignore.
  • We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will introduce a Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?.   #sleaze for the many not just the few.
  • In order to calm down the passions and stresses currently exhibited in Parliament,the Loony Party would make all M.P’s have half an hours compulsory Tai chi everyday.This would counteract the other 23 ½ hours Chi Ting they do for the rest of the time.
  • We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris.
  • All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner.
  • The Civil Service will be extended to all branches of government, because a little politeness goes a long way.
  • To increase Jobs and wealth to the people of Wakefield. . . Once in power we will declare Wakefield independent from Westminster and convert Wakefield to an inshore Tax Haven.
  • We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park, this will save the UK thousands of pounds every day. Potholes deeper than 3 inches will be marked with a yellow plastic duck.
  • In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS, it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months.
  • To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks.
  • With Government helped finance, AstraZeneca should buy out Pfizer, then, as we would have the rights to Viagra, the economy may stay up longer.
  • Redundant Red Phones boxes in Wakefield will be converted to bijou accommodation to ease the housing shortage.
  • To make things fairer we will introduce a Court of Human Lefts.

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RU Seerius