Policies

We encourage everyone, even current politicians, to submit ideas to our world famous #Manicfesto! The following are some of the most recent from our wonderful Twitter followers…

  • Once in Government, anyone applying for 7 figure salary positions with the World Health Organisation or as Govt Health Advisors, will have to answer 15 correct questions on “WHO wants to be a Millionaire”.
  • In Brexit Trade Deals: Germany will be required to pay for treatment of Measles, and Spain will be required to pay for cases of Spanish Flu. The French will pay for all accidents resulting from kissing & broken letters & the Dutch will split all future expenses 50/50.
  • We will place in law measures to stop panic buying as COVID19 restrictions take hold. Shoppers will only be permitted to buy one panic per person.
  • It is evident that the 10pm pub curfew is not working , We propose that pubs ask people to leave in alphabetical order.
  • Shamefully Lord Sutch has never been allowed to take his place in the House of Lords. Nor were Duke Ellington, Count Basie or Lord Rockingham We will end this discrimination against musicians.
  • To unite the population, we will surround the UK with a large cardboard box so people can be both in and/or out of the EU. This will be known as Schrodinger’s Brexit.
  • To get more children reading, fish and chips will once again be wrapped in newspaper.
  • Once in Government we will introduce the Ministry of Clarity. The role of this Ministry will ensure that only the clearest clarity is made clear and the unclear clarity is cleared out. We hope that our position on this is now clear to all.
  • In Government, we will complete a 5 year Parliament in only 4 years. This policy not only ensures a 20% saving for the public purse but also gives everyone in the UK a year off from listening to our politicians.
  • The MOT is an annual test to ensure that your car is roadworthy. We will introduce a ROT, an annual test to make sure all roads are car worthy.

And from 1st January 2021, passports will be issued in the colour of political voting. Tories will be Blue, Labour will be Red, Greens will be green. Official Loonies will have leopard spots, and Lib Dem’s will be invisible.
Chinners