Nick the Flying Brick in the Newark By-election

Nick the Flying Brick’s nomination has been accepted for the Newark By-election which is being held on the 5th of June. He is highly regarded as a single issue politician, with his long-standing campaign for the abolition of gravity. He is keen to put Newark on the political map moving the British Parliament to The Flying Circus pub at 53, Castlegate. Nick_The_Flying_BrickOther policies:

  • Make fishing a spectator sport by introducing piranha to the River Trent
  • Increase the number of specialist departments at Newark Hospital so it qualifies for a new Accident and Emergency Centre, with medical wards for Mercury potions, Electrolysis, Leeching and Lobotomy. The Loonys will balance the humors.
  • The ‘Financial Conduct Authority’ to be renamed ‘Financial Complacent Authority’.
  • Newark Castle will be developed into an intergalactic space port.
  • The Chiltern Hundreds of Stoke, Desborough and Burnham will be declared a nature reserve and developed into a Mercernary retreat.
  • Encourage the development, and legislate for the road testing of Robotaxi’s.
  • To introduce a British Standard for all plastic cables and pipes to be treated with a repellent taste for rodents.
  • All European trains in the future must be fuelled by Gravy.
  • The options on the Referendum ballot on our membership of the EU to read– a) In, b) Out, c) Shake it all about.
  • Secure our gas supplies by leaving Europe and joining the Russian Federation.
  • Return the British currency to pounds, shillings, pence, fathings and groats, with rural villages such as Southall encouraged to trade in shiny beads.

>>Article in the Newark Advertiser 15th May<< Contact>>NickThe Flying Brick<<