Nick the Flying Brick’s nomination has been accepted for the Newark By-election which is being held on the 5th of June. He is highly regarded as a single issue politician, with his long-standing campaign for the abolition of gravity. He is keen to put Newark on the political map moving the British Parliament to The Flying Circus pub at 53, Castlegate. Other policies:
- Make fishing a spectator sport by introducing piranha to the River Trent
- Increase the number of specialist departments at Newark Hospital so it qualifies for a new Accident and Emergency Centre, with medical wards for Mercury potions, Electrolysis, Leeching and Lobotomy. The Loonys will balance the humors.
- The ‘Financial Conduct Authority’ to be renamed ‘Financial Complacent Authority’.
- Newark Castle will be developed into an intergalactic space port.
- The Chiltern Hundreds of Stoke, Desborough and Burnham will be declared a nature reserve and developed into a Mercernary retreat.
- Encourage the development, and legislate for the road testing of Robotaxi’s.
- To introduce a British Standard for all plastic cables and pipes to be treated with a repellent taste for rodents.
- All European trains in the future must be fuelled by Gravy.
- The options on the Referendum ballot on our membership of the EU to read– a) In, b) Out, c) Shake it all about.
- Secure our gas supplies by leaving Europe and joining the Russian Federation.
- Return the British currency to pounds, shillings, pence, fathings and groats, with rural villages such as Southall encouraged to trade in shiny beads.
>>Article in the Newark Advertiser 15th May<< Contact>>NickThe Flying Brick<<