Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope has confirmed plans for his inclusion in any future government cabinet. Following the hung parliament that follows Thursdays results, David Cameron is keen to get as many influential leaders on board in his attempt to oust Gordon Brown’s Labour party. As the above picture shows, Mr Cameron was right on hand to congratulate our glorious leader upon his 234 votes (a loony swing of 0.4% in the constituency) and it is believed that conversations took place after the results in Witney and that Laud Hope is also seeking a place in the House of Commons bar, a space in the carpark, excemption from the loony policy in bringing back hanging for MP’s in the event of a hung election as well as a full and roomy part in any cabinet that the Conservatives have to offer. We will keep you informed of any developements that may occur over the next few days.