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The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

A Hanging Offence

Mark Beech
Published on November 25, 2008

It is proposed to systematicly destroy all wire coat hangers.
Shirts slip off them. People hang them on doorhandles. They bend when you hang jeans on them. The flick off rails. They join together in pairs. The gaggle in dodgy, tinny, wiry orgies, tingling nastily. They have a static sneer. Have you ever actually seen anybody buy them? Who even sells them? Do they just appear in your wardrobes? They seem to have a near endless domestic omnipresence.
Not only a waste of wire, but a waste of time. How often have you had to rehang things on them? Or perhaps Reiron shirts after being bent ruthlessly shapelss thereon? Then they spin of the rail and onto the floor. You kick them and then get wrapped around your foot, or sibling. And then if you can find a bin that will fit such a stupidly angular object, the sadistic little sharp corner on the hook rips the bag and there it is again, escaped. What a malicious little sod.
Let’s face it; The only use for metal coat hangers is to unravel them and make them into something else.
Therefore, it is proposed that all wire coathangers should be systematically hung, drawn and unravelled, under the 1936 Public Order Act.

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