Rochdale Roundup

Wow! I came, I saw, I nibbled! It has been astonishing that I had 12,126 votes behind the winner! Despite this The Loony Party were the real winners on the night. I am humbled by the great support from the loony’s and 209 voters who chose a loony rather than an idiot. This hasn’t been taken for granted.
I’m sure to aim for lower votes next time as feedback from others advised that our policies are far too sensible! It was a lively night at the HQ Wetherspoons and continued the second entered the counting centre. The media immediately left the other parties interviews midway through their chats just to run over to us. I believe we had them worried! The votes came in fast… so fast I ran out of fingers and thumbs!
A huge thank you to the loony elite standing with me, and all the pub goers for joining us for a pint of the landlord’s finest at The Regal Moon!
I now face another dilemma… shall I be called ‘The Rochdale Rat’ or ‘The Rodent of Rochdale’? Let’s vote on it???
Once again proud to have stood for The Loony Party! Can’t thank you all enough!
Stay Loony! No policies! No Plan! No Problem!
Ravin Rodent Subortna

The Rodent in Rochdale

Ravin’ Rodent Subortna had a magnificent team at the Rochdale by-election. Nick the Flying Brick, RU Seerius, Hell’n Bak, Sir Archibald Stanton, Gilly Mini-Me, Ringo, Susie Queue, Sir Oink-a-Lot, Farmin’ Dave and the Psychobilly Tractor all worked tirelessly to engage with the Rochdale electorate.

Our campaign ‘think tank’ drove senselessly around town on election night eventually crashing into the ‘Regal Moon’.
Once settled into the pub the group debated on how to improve rodent conditions and the environment by raising the level of the Rochdale swamp.

Soon after midnight the band of Loony Party devotees walked to the count seeking refuge in the existential effects of gravity and fearing the absurdity of what lay ahead. We need not have worried as we were greeted with open arms and the many candidates and their supporters were friendly and seemed genuinely pleased we were there.
The count had a physical and real atmosphere with the green walls of the Rochdale Leisure Centre reflecting on all surfaces. The counting tellers rolled bundles of ballots into tubes of twenty five and planted them into potting trays which were beautifully displayed in front of the main entrance into the hall.

Some reporters and their interviewees spent the early morning seeking out and randomly jumping in front of Sir Oink-a-Lot causing confusion across the nation.

As the evening rolled on it became increasingly clear that the ‘Circus of George’ had once again won the day.

George was a bit late to the count and was the last to know! He vigorously shook the Rodent’s hand when he was surprised by the news.

The Loony crew lay in wait at the back of the stage hoping to taste the glory only to be covered in orange confetti thrown by a militant Hari Krishna shouting ‘top the soil’.
Another interesting night in the loonyverse.
Nick the Flying Brick

Ministerial Loony Activities – Part Cinco

A brief round up about some of the things our OFFICIAL Loony Ministers have been up to or have lined up…

Joe Jammer – Lord of the Strings
Our Loony Legend has worked with everyone from Jimi Hendrix to The Who, Maggie Bell to Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith to Jerry Lee Lewis. He has also been an Olympic Runner which quite frankly is Nobody’s Business, and of course a Heavy Friend with our Spiritual Leader, Screaming Lord Sutch! Early last year, he recounted his career in an interview with The Strange Brew which includes selected songs including our 2019 Election ‘OH-OH’ Song, which resulted in several heart attacks and failing hips. None of this stops Rock n Roll with a plethora of March gigs
www.joejammer.com booked and as a ‘Jammy Fibber’ with Deputy Leader Knigel Knapp. More on this exciting Election musical project will be announced in due course.

The Incredible Flying Brick – Deputy Leader & Party Treasurer
The recent Wellingborough By-Election saw a highly respectable 217 voters opt for the only OFFICIAL candidate on the ballot, a return which also ensured a 100% electoral increase for us in the constituency! In the following days, Flying Brick was swamped with interview requests from the media with Patrick Christys from GB News getting the full cuppa tea from some liberal doorstep reactions.

Lord Robin Askwith – Minister of Confessions
With Channel 5 recently releasing it’s shows viewing figures, Madame Blanc is top of the list with nearly two million people tuning in. We confess that it’s a mystery why no trouser dropping has occurred as yet, no doubt Lord Askwith’s blog will reveal all soon.

Lord Captain Sensible – Minister of Noise
Currently touring the Japan region of the Loonyverse, it has sensibly been decided to revisit the Damned 1980’s with a UK tour in December 2024. We could happily talk about this event for sutch an age . . . but have sadly run out of space in this update.
Chinners

Baron Von Rainer of the Hill

It is with great sadness that we announce the death of Rainer Stephen Woodcock aka Baron Von Rainer of the Hill from Thornhill Dewsbury.
Steve joined the Party in 2019 and was part of Sir Archibald Stanton’s Loony team in the 2019 General Election. He also supported Archie in the 2022 Local Council elections.
He was a great entertainer and lead singer with many bands over the years.
He sang in Archie’s band ‘The Stantons’ at the 2021 Loony Party conference at The Cobbles, Louth where he met Barmy Lord Brockman who he kept in touch with until Barmy died. Steve was a lifelong friend of Sir Archibald, Gilly and Johnny Ringo and will be sadly missed.
Sir Archibald Stanton

General Election World Premier

Our OFFICIAL song performed by The Jammy Fibbers, will be given it’s debut airing on a wireless near you, on Thursday 29th February on the legendary ‘Pastries in the Moaning’ show on Radio Alty  10am – Noon!
A direct link to the station can be obtained by clicking our special ‘Radio’ button in the OTHER NETWORK Section in the left hand panel of this website that you are currently viewing . . .
Chinners

Catch up with the Leader!

It was a busy start to the year with three by-elections in February, but really it feels like four in three months.
I was the candidate in Tamworth Oct 19th 2023 and spent ten days canvassing. On the morning of polling day I was rushed off by ambulance and spent a further ten days in Burton-on-Trent hospital. That is why you didn’t see me in my usual position on the stage next to the winner. All is well now, it was a minor set back and I achieved 155 votes and didn’t come last! There were three elections in February, we chose ‘Nick the Flying Brick’ to stand in Wellingborough, North Hants, I would do Bristol Kingwood, and Nick Antrobus ‘The Ravin Rodent’, would take Rochdale. All was going well until Lord Benjamin Baker, my election agent in Bristol was whisked off to hospital with a serious lung complaint on the day the nomination papers were due in. All is well with him now, but that is why I was not able to stand. I was looking forward to my 34th Parliamentary Election but never mind, I’m sure there will be many more in the future.
Now talking of Elections, this coming May 2nd there will be local elections, maybe where you live, check on it. But you can’t just stand, you need a letter of authority from our party nominations officer. The is no deposit it is all free, ring on 07946 292 557. A General Election will be held later on in the year, this costs £500 to stand, but you can get yourself sponsored if you can’t afford the whole lot. Plus if you get 5% of the vote, you get your money back. We’ve been close a couple of times, maybe you could be the one to get your name in ‘The Guinness Book of Records’.

Party Conference is now set for another ‘Belter in Belper’ Derbyshire, held at The George and Dragon between 26-28th September. We’ve been there before, it’s a great venue, more details to follow.
Keep on Looning
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope Your Party Leader

New YouTube Channel

The Loony are pleased to announce a new YouTube channel which is being directed by musician, producer and all round entertainer Joshua Francis.
Our first movie is an appeal to the voters of Rochdale

Nick the Flying Brick

Wellingborough By-election

I had a thoroughly excellent time standing in Wellingborough, it was my fifth by-election. I had a great team supporting me with Howling Laud, RU Seerius, Hell ‘n Bak, Gilly, Sir Archibald, Ringo and Allan the monk. We had a lot of discussion about campaign tactics, and carefully constructed strategies were developed in ‘The Earl of Dalkeith’ in the last few hours of the polling day on the 15th of February. We arrived at the Kettering Conference Centre for the election count around midnight buoyed by a lot of very good ideas and confident of success! The count was warm and very well organised, beautifully set out, and there was a Zen like atmosphere of absolute calm. Kingswood, our twin election near Bristol, declared around two o’clock, after which our count entered into ‘dreamtime’ while the North Northamptonshire Elections department called on ancestral spirits to find a small bundle of lost ten ballots. Even Gilly was quieter than usual becoming virtually horizontal.
The elections team had clearly thought out every move for when the count was declared and were very organised and precise about where they wanted the candidates, their agents and the journalists to be. I stood next to Helen Harrison who seemed to be very relieved to have lost!
We had a lovely time at the Wellingborough count, but I’m hoping that the Rochdale by-election and the ‘Circus of George’ being held in two weeks time will be a little bit more chaotic!
Nick the Flying Brick

We Started a Political Party

‘We Started a Political Party’ is a podcast that explores ideas from the fringes of British politics. Each episode looks at the possible ideas & policies from lots of different parties that could be included in their Manicfesto. Needless to say the only OFFICIAL party is in many of them and there is nearly a whole episode interviewing our Glorious Leader, ‘Howling Laud Hope! The latest episode is about the Wellingborough By-Election and features our candidate, The Incredible Flying Brick and how he shadows the Gravity Minister Liz Truss.

UK Bounces Back Policy

We will recycle all the illegal immigrant boats and use the rubber to fill our potholes.
RU Seerius