EASTLEIGH BY- ELECTION 28th Feb 2013
Report from our ‘Laud’
Eastleigh, all will agree was by far the easiest and friendliest By-election for a long time.
I arrived firstly on Friday 8th Feb along with Derrill Carr, a friend of mine from Fleet, armed with nomination papers which we managed to get filled in half an hour with the help of Angela Hepburn from Eastleigh, in our party HQ Wetherspoons. Very big thankyou to both of them.
Drove back down Monday to lodge them with the Electoral Office, which was obviously accepted, only to be told “how efficient we were, being the first to do so” they were very impressed with our Electoral set up, and we were highly commended.
Spent the following Friday and Saturday in the constituency campaigning, and generally letting it be known that we were in fact standing, which brought cries of delight from many who remembered the 1994 Eastleigh By-election when Nigel Farrage first stood for his UKIP party and only managed 169 votes more than our Screaming ‘Lord’ Sutch.
Now down to the real bit, the final week.
I was booked into the Travelodge next door to our party HQ (very handy) right in the centre of all the action. Most of the candidates came in to meet me especially good old Nigel, we always share a pint or two when we meet. ‘Sheikh Me Hand’ aka Jackie Davidson travelled down from Kent to help raise our profile, well done mate. One of the Tory big wigs, Michael Fabricant insisted upon having his photo taken with me along with the Tory MP for Morecambe David Morris, in fact some mighty fine photo’s will come to light eventually.
I think the highlight of the champagne was when I was out canvassing with my loud hailer, and a gentleman threw a bucket of water over me from his upstairs bedroom window, missed me and drenched the lady stood next to me, and then started throwing potato’s and eggs at me, apparently he was on nightshift and I had woken him up. Nevertheless the police got involved, because one of the potatoes’s actually hit me on the shoulder, did I want to take it any further, and he was going into the station next day to be cautioned. I told them that I would let him off as long as he voted ‘Loony’ as far as I’m aware he actually did, one of his friends told me so. A sudden thought crossed my mind after “I must be a real politician if they are throwing eggs at me “
On the Tuesday of this week ‘Lord Toby’ arrived with the delightful Deadboreing Deborah (she is a monumental Mason after all), and we set the town alight with quick repartee and quips of a political nature. The TV, Radio and Press loved us, they followed us everywhere we went, or seemed to. The publicity that we gleaned from Eastleigh was on a par with the best that we have ever had! T.C (Top cat) came and helped with the campaigning
On Thursday the ‘Flying Brick’ arrived from Derby and was quite taken aback with the friendship of the people that he met, and the people who had joined in with us.
Now this is the big night, the Count! Off we go an entourage of Myself, The Brick, Lord Toby, Deborah Richardson, Damon Heritage (what a character) Tony Sneddon and his wife Sue (Tony, once an independent, but will stand for us in Locals) Derrill arrived back from Fleet, and we were joined by David Titchner and the lovely Kirsten, 10 of us at the count, what a reception, we got, camera’s everywhere, interviews and general good will all around.
A general consensus of opinion was that we may split the UKIP vote, did they get that wrong, they split ours, and also that we may beat Labour, no such luck. BUT, once again we were not last, 9th out of 14 with a 136 votes AND, history was made, the ‘English Democrat Party’ decided not to fight another election because they were beaten by the ‘LOONY’. As usual pole position on the stage next to the returning officer and all as they make their speeches. When it came to my turn, you would have been proud of me. I sang ‘Mack the Knife’ to a tremendous round of applause and brought the house down. All in all a good time was had by all, no problems, all good fun, 136 people wanted me to represent them in Parliament, they got it right, thousands may regret that one day, we had the best vote catcher of the lot so they said,
Our most popular policy is to rename the Southampton/ Eastleigh airport to the BENNY HILL just as they changed the Speke airport in Liverpool to the JOHN LENNON. Eastleigh don’t like the airport being called Southampton, so it suits both. Guess what, the Lib-Dems who won, think it’s a wonderful idea, watch this space, 5 years time maybe, you never know, always ahead of our time.
Once again thanks to all who voted our way, all who managed to be there, and a very special thanks again to William Hill for their continued sponsorship.
See you all again next time!
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
(Click on the pic for larger view)
