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The definitive Welsh Assembly Loony Party Manicfesto 2016
- We will feed the Welsh dragon as its looking a bit thin due to government cuts
- We will try to find a breeding pair of dragons as the Welsh Dragon is an endangered species.
- We will Report the Welsh dragon to the monopolies commission (there is only One)
- In the Interests of national security we will ban all Leeks from the Welsh Assembly canteen
- To save money we will reduce the Welsh assembly from 60 seats to 5 and create the Welsh Ensemble .
- Man versus horse and Bog snorkling to be an Olympic sport.
- We will create massive factories in South Wales manufacturing Bird nests and noodles and then flood china with them… well they did it to our steel,
- We will Legalise Broccoli
- We will give the Letter K a sound
- We will have different Coloured Dragons on the Welsh Flag.
- Anyone over 5 years old who can hold a crayon will be eligible to vote.
- We will Introduce Mermaids to Tiger Bay to increase tourism.
- We will make Swansea Airport the Hub of the Welsh Space Program.
- We promise that should we be elected we will not initiate any of our policies.
In the light of proposals at the Labour Party Conference under its new leadership with Jeremy Corbyn we have come up with 2 new proposals for Defense :
We will get rid of Trident and replace it with a new Tuning Fork.
We shall keep the Falklands and Give Jeremy Corbyn to the Argentinians.
Well once again the main parties are stealing our election proposals. Today Ed Moribund has declared that they would reduce University Tuition fees to much media acclaim.
I didn’t notice the same amount of acclaim when we announced in our Manicfesto:
E. Education. All University Tuition fees for women would be free as we are strong believers in Female intuition. (Due to gender equality laws we would include males as well)
We propose to cancel stamp duty…….stamps are expensive enough so we shouldn’t have to pay duty on them.
Besides leap years, there needs to be hop, skip, and jump years (thanks to Brassdancer)
Parliament will be relocated to Wormwood Scrubs, reducing the commuting costs for most Peers and MPs. (thanks to WolfBaginski)
We will reduce the national debt by selling the castles back to the French. (Buyer dismantles)
Points make prizes
Tax payers to receive Nectar Points from HMRC
E.U Budget Adjustment and other news
We can confirm that the Loony party was not notified of the E.U budget demand of £1.7bn before George Osborne or David Cameron.
Also in the news the BBC in keeping with their policy of not important news coverage will be televising the incarceration of Oscar Pistorius 24 hours a day. Yes you can see the riveting instalments of Oscar sitting in a cell for 5 years. You can see Oscar walking around his cell and his special hour of Recreation. .Ping Pong exclusives …..Don’t miss the Slopping Out Special Highlights.
Asda’s equality policy
The Loony Party being strong advocates of equal pay agree that the women workers of Asda should have equal pay with the men.
We have it on good authority that George Osborne also agrees with this, and to save needless court costs, has asked for the men’s wages to be reduced accordingly.
It is proposed that all, leaflets, brochures, circulars, manifestoes, posters etc, used by any Political Party during an election, be collected up recycled and given to the local Food Banks for free distribution as toilet paper.
Unicorns and free travel
We propose to make unicorns a protected species?
It is proposed to introduce free travel on trams and buses for musicians as they bring joy into people’s lives…. Obviously