Unicorns and free travel

We propose to make unicorns a protected species?

It is proposed to introduce free travel on trams and buses for musicians as they bring joy into people’s lives…. Obviously

Food safety policy

All Food sold in fast food establishments should be clearly marked

“May contain traces of real food”

All vegetables sold in supermarkets, should be clearly marked

“Strictly for oral use only”


Fowl Weather policy

We propose the removal of funding for weather prediction as they seem to get it wrong most of the time anyway. This money would then be redirected into an extensive scientific research scheme to find out what actually came first, the chicken or the egg?

thanks to Professor Michelle ‘Humpty Dumpty’ Grove

Reverse bid stands up to scrutiny….

If the Government helped with finance, perhaps AstraZeneca should consider buying out Pfizer, then, as we would have the rights to Viagra, the economy may stay up longer.

Also perhaps we could then look at getting Boots the Chemist back into British ownership.

Top of the League

As there are now so many organisations creating league table’s to monitor performance of NHS, Schools, Police, Dustman etc, we in the Loony Party propose to create a League table to monitor compilers of League tables. Those who come at the bottom will be made to sit down and learn their tables (anyone remember them?)

Winter Olympic Sport

Many thanks to Martin for this one:
We propose to include: Shove ha’penny on ice as a Winter Olympic budget version of curling?

E.U Proposals

The options on the Referendum ballot on our membership of the EU to
a) In
b) Out
c) Shake it all about

comparing meerkats

We will instruct the RSPCA to ensure that all meerkats come in twos to enable the public to effectively compare the meerkat.

many thanks to Phil

Saving Fuel

Saving Fuel – A bungy rope should be attached to all vehicles making a journey. No fuel would be required for the return journey.


Emails would be abolished. Instead, to reduce confusion, messages from men would be hemails, and from women shemails. (the only exception being blokes from Essex who would still send ’emails ).