Category: Policy Proposals
Recycled Policies
It is proposed that all, leaflets, brochures, circulars, manifestoes, posters etc, used by any Political Party during an election, be collected up recycled and given to the local Food Banks for free distribution as toilet paper.
Unicorns and free travel
We propose to make unicorns a protected species? It is proposed to introduce free travel on trams and buses for musicians as they bring joy into people’s lives…. Obviously
Food safety policy
All Food sold in fast food establishments should be clearly marked “May contain traces of real food” All vegetables sold in supermarkets, should be clearly marked “Strictly for oral use only”
Fowl Weather policy
We propose the removal of funding for weather prediction as they seem to get it wrong most of the time anyway. This money would then be redirected into an extensive scientific research scheme to find out what actually came first, the chicken or the egg? thanks to Professor Michelle ‘Humpty Dumpty’ Grove
Reverse bid stands up to scrutiny….
If the Government helped with finance, perhaps AstraZeneca should consider buying out Pfizer, then, as we would have the rights to Viagra, the economy may stay up longer. Also perhaps we could then look at getting Boots the Chemist back into British ownership.
Top of the League
As there are now so many organisations creating league table’s to monitor performance of NHS, Schools, Police, Dustman etc, we in the Loony Party propose to create a League table to monitor compilers of League tables. Those who come at the bottom will be made to sit down and learn their tables (anyone remember them?)
Winter Olympic Sport
Many thanks to Martin for this one: We propose to include: Shove ha’penny on ice as a Winter Olympic budget version of curling?
E.U Proposals
The options on the Referendum ballot on our membership of the EU to read– a) In b) Out c) Shake it all about
comparing meerkats
We will instruct the RSPCA to ensure that all meerkats come in twos to enable the public to effectively compare the meerkat. many thanks to Phil
Saving Fuel
Saving Fuel – A bungy rope should be attached to all vehicles making a journey. No fuel would be required for the return journey.