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The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

Author: Mark Beech

Registration time

2011-05-11 14:06:01

Website

https://mark.beech.org.uk

Email

mark@beech.org.uk

All posts by Mark Beech

Disgruntled voter

Sir, It seems that by following the Governments example of being prudent, people including myself are being penalised. I, who have worked very hard to put some money aside and save, did not go on holidays, or buy goods on credit cards and did not build up large debts. I have put money aside for… Read More

A Hanging Offence

It is proposed to systematicly destroy all wire coat hangers. Shirts slip off them. People hang them on doorhandles. They bend when you hang jeans on them. The flick off rails. They join together in pairs. The gaggle in dodgy, tinny, wiry orgies, tingling nastily. They have a static sneer. Have you ever actually seen anybody… Read More

Health Matters: show by example

To stop young people’s excessive drinking and having a good time the politicians should convert all their 30 or 40 bars at Westminster into milk bars. Their restaurants should be converted into salad bars to show solidarity with school children, how to improve their health and fitness.

Peace Plan – Proposed by Lord Helpus

To help the israel/palestine problems, we should get rid of the old fashioned road map, and give them a sat nav instead.

Balanced View – Proposed by Lookman

All politicians should be made to stand continually on one leg while making speeches to check how balanced their arguments are. It should also reduce political flatulence and soothe the listeners ears

TV Times – Proposed by Lookman

One day each week should be devoted to continual party political broadcasts so the rest of us can have a good time away from Big Brother, house renovation programmes and EastEnders. Those people who are so boring to want to watch the politicians should vote for the best broadcast. That way the OMRLP can get… Read More

America Votes for change

America has now voted in the next President. On a ticket of Change for the USA, and with the economy in the state it is loose change would probably be more accurate. Barak Obama has won a convincing vote. One thing is for sure ..compared to USA politics our elections are dull and drab. Perhaps now… Read More

Terror Passport

Separate Passports for Terrorists: Terrorists should be required (by virtue of law) to apply for separate passports in which they give there full contact details, number of explosives, and time (as well as location) of any plot. This would save time and money in gathering intelligence, and could also help identify the intended ambition(s) behind… Read More

Being British

We in the Loony party often harp on about the fact that Britain is the best country in the world, and the British are the best people in the world, but we do have our faults. Here are a few of them: Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub… Read More

Cool on the Outside – Proposed by Cameron

To combat global warming and climate change all buildings should be fitted with air conditioning units on the outside.