Author: Nick the Brick

We are pleased to announce that our very own Bedfordshire Minx Ann Kelly is our candidate for the forthcoming by election on 19th Oct  2023
Ann has lived in the constituency for 34 years and has contested the seat three times previously. She has been Mayor of Flitwick twice and a school governor and foster carer.

• If elected, she will not have a party whip and can say what she wants. She will not do deals.
• Ann will be 100% behind her constituents.
• She is against all the building going on.
• She will not appear on any television program involving jungles and eating bush tucker.

More policies include:

• We will set up an open and public auction of honours from knighthoods and peerages.
• Kangaroo courts will be presided by actual kangaroos. They will be conducted on the hop.
• We will replace employees of the Boarder Force with GP receptionists. This will dramatically reduce the number of people getting in.
• We will sort out the delays of the trains by setting all clocks late by at least 10 minutes.

I was the candidate in Uxbridge. A very special thank you to A.Gent Chinners for obtaining the 10 nominations for me.

I campaigned in the constituency for ten days. Sir Tim Martin kindly let me use ‘The Good Yarn’ for use as my campaign HQ where I met a lot of nice people.

Word soon got around that I was there and a few of the seventeen candidates paid me a visit. Many Loony party faithful came too, ‘Mad Mike Young’ came from the Isle of Sheppey, ‘Sheikh Mihand’ visited from Kent, O.B.Joyful and Lawd Lawson drove up from Hampshire, and local Richard Ri- DICK-ulous Johnson.

Many lined up for a Wetherspoon photo which will be in a forthcoming Spoons Magazine. I did five radio shows and several interviews, all telling me that I was going to do well. My Hope’s were quite Hopeful, in fact I had High Hopes.

On to the count night, by now I had been joined By Ben Definitely, a TV producer and Film Maker who is making a Loony Party documentary. Also A Gent Chinnery and Ri-DICK-ulous Johnson, we were all booked in for the count. We arrived to the usual accolade, ‘Great to see you here, its not a real election if your not’. Cameras flashing, microphones pushing up to you, all a sense of ‘were going to do well here’. Some great banter with Count Binface and Piers Corbyn. All working up to the final finale. . .

The result, how very disappointing, all the hype and I got just 32 votes, the only saving grace is that I didn’t come last. Labour were odds on to win by a million miles and didn’t, even the Cons were quite surprised.

It was so close they had a recount, and I was Hoping that there would be more votes for me, but they never came!
So there it is, I’ve now done thirty two Parliamentary Elections, nine of those being General Elections, a record in Great Britain for standing in the most Generals belongs to me, at the moment.
Here’s to the next time. See you all at the Conference in September.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope

Gilly just wouldn’t stop talking on the night of the Selby election. The rest of our team were Johnny Ringo, RU Seerius, Lady Helen and The Flying Brick.

We all met at The Giant Bellflower in Selby and enjoyed listening to Gilly nattering away. The locals were very friendly in the Wetherspoons and wholeheartedly embraced the Loony caravan.

At midnight we wandered over to the count being held at ‘The Summit’, where we were greeted with our customary reception – loud cheers, numerous photograph opportunities and interviews resulting in worldwide publicity!?!

The announcement was made just after 4am and we finished 9th out of a total of 13 candidates on a turnout of 44.77%

Gilly was very excited to be on stage and was chattering ten to the dozen, but he didn’t seem to effect Keir Mather’s stride, they both made heartfelt acceptance speeches.

We all participated in a well publicised event and we all had a great time. We send many thanks to all our supporters out there in this great democratic country of ours.

Watch out there’s a Loony about!

Sir Archibald Stanton
(Archie to mates – Sir Archibald to Magistrates)

I am a West Yorkshire toff educated at Eaton – Earlsheaton that is Dewsbury WF12.

You may have never voted before. But what if there was a Party dedicated to fun? There is! The Loony Party puts the fun back into politics with a guaranteed victory party even before the voting commences.

• A selection from our Manicfesto :
  Ban greyhound racing – this will stop the Country going to the dogs
• Pensions to be fixed at 100% of MP’s salaries
• Incorporate Income Tax into the National Lottery so at least you stand a chance of winning your money back
• Have the right to vote for The Prime Minister

During the campaign remember that all the other parties will be trying to buy your vote – with your own money. The Loony Party are different- we only want to borrow it for ‘The Day’ – you can have it back afterwards.

Look out for the Top Hat symbol on your polling card and put a large X in the box for Loony in the certain knowledge that you have carried out your democratic duty.
Remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used, so if you don’t usually vote then vote unusually!

Vote Loony you know it makes sense.
Sir Archibald Stanton

On Thursday 20th July you are facing yet another Parliamentary Election. I, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope will be your candidate for ‘The Official Monster Raving Loony Party’. The Party Leader. Yes, many of you have voted for me before, I thank you for that.
I’m the longest serving Party Political Leader in Great Britain, 23 years.
We are the party that’s on everyone’s side, no matter what their Political persuasion.
Yes, just like you, we have seen it all before, heard it all before, and still don’t believe it. Between us we can show Parliament that we do care about our country, but not necessarily for the way the so called main stream party’s are running it. Lets shake ’em up. Just to save my deposit would make it loud and clear, let alone win.
Please remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used. So if you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote for me. Voting for the Lib Lab Con trick is only putting them back in again for more of what we don’t want. Between us we can make your constituency very proud, the wonderful district that changed the face of modern day Politics.
You’ve got nothing to lose. WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE
Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope

On Monday 19th June having obtained the necessary signatures on the candidate nomination forms during the morning, Nick The Flying Brick met up with our candidate Sir Archibald Stanton at Selby District Council and North Yorkshire Council offices in Selby.
Brick did an exceptional job obtaining the signatures in short time and was received well by residents in and around Charles Street in Selby.
We received compliments about our attire while having lunch and good luck messages from the Cafeteria staff and other members of the public.
The Elections Team accepted our nomination and wished us good luck.
We now have Sir Archibald Stanton as The Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for the Selby and Ainsty Constituency by-election with Nick the Flying Brick as his agent.
I am very much looking forward to the next few weeks leading up to the election on 20th July 2023 when I will be on the campaign trail with my right hand man Gilly.
All in all a successful day for The Party.
‘Champion’ as they say in Yorkshire.
Sir Archibald Stanton