Author: R.U.Seerius

loony party conference 2011

loony conference

The Conference this year is being arranged for the last weekend of September as usual on Fri 23 – Sat 24th at the same venue as last year
‘The Links Hotel’ Fleet, Hampshire. Although some party faithful do arrive on the Thurs just to acclimatise !
‘Dale Fontaine’ ( Elvis ) has confirmed, ‘Whats Next’ our resident Loony Band will be there,’ The Big Fibbers’ more likely than not and more
surprise artists.
‘Adam Ant’ was excellent last year,so dont miss this one.
More updates as they Happen !

The Latest Prowlings of Howling !

Our party Leader has been invited to attend and officiate at the Boat Race on the Mersey,this will take place in Northenden a suburb of Manchester on August Bank Holiday Sunday 28th although he will be there from Thurs 25th,its an event that raises monies for ‘Christies’ a cancer charity group.See how many of our members can make this event colourful,lots of cheapie b and b’s around,Ive looked !
HOWLING

The Results of Howlings Prowlings :-

Thurs 9th June i arrive in Llanwrtyd Wells,the smallest town in Great Britain,known locally as the Bellybutton of Wales,only six hundred people live there, thats its claim to being the smallest.
I was invited by ‘Green Events’ to officiate at the annual Man v Horse race,of which the horse won this year,but thats not always the case. NO ! its nothing to do with the ‘Green Party’ how dare you !
Its an event organised by one of the towns most prestidious people Mr
Gordon Green and his gang of merry men.600 or more runners against
20 odd Horses.
Entertainment in the town that evening was one of our party members,The Phenominal Dangerous Dave and a band made up of members of the ‘Climax Blues Band’ and Roy Woods ‘Wizard’ very good they were too.
Met alot of Loony Members, thanks for being there,none more than ‘Lilly
of the Pink’ and ‘Lord Offa of the Dykes’ and enrolled a few more.
Of course Thurs 16 was my Birthday,Lilly bought me a cake !
Which leads us into the following weekend which was of course the two
day Loony Music Festival.Started Fri Night in the Neuadd Arms Hotel
featuring Loony Stalwarts ‘The Big Fibbers’ and ‘Dale Fontaine’ and his
‘Echoes of Elvis’ show. Blues band also playing at the Stonecroft Inn with other Artistes (see the poster on our web site).
Saturday night was the main event. In the Victoria Hall the main act was ‘MATCHBOX’ with the original line up with Graham Fenton,who were ably supported by a localish Welsh rock-a-billy group called Livestock Davies and the Low Down Snakes an excellent night of pure Rock ‘n’ Roll the way it should be done. It must be said that Graham Fenton did a terrific version of Lord Sutch’s ‘Jack the Ripper’.Later on in the evening saw the return of Dangerous Dave at the ‘Neuadd’ with a completely different band from the week before and were just as amazing.Live stock and his band went off down to the ‘Stonecroft’ and also there was ‘Sean Saye’ an excellent singer guitarist Rock ‘n’ Roll style.All in all a wonderful time was had by all and would like to thank ‘Green Events’, Lilly,Chris Rogers and his wife, especially Lindsay and Cathrine in the Neuadd,and Peter in the Stonecroft for all there time and effort, and the Ludlow Loonies just for being there.
TOP TIP listen out in the future for a band called ‘Lindsey’s Shirts’ only 14 year olds but watch out for them !
Many people have asked me why such a Loony event is held in Llanwrtd, well let me put the record straight,the Neuadd Hotel was the last gig ‘Lord Sutch’ ever did and as you all know, he was such a likeable fella they took him to heart, and want to remember him just like we do.
The Howling Laud

Delays in membership

We are informed that there have been delays in memberships. Unfortunately our membership secretary has been taken ill, but is on the mend.. Best wishes baron, get well soon, and apologies to all for the delays

Christopher Shale

Our condolences to the family and friends of Chrstopher Shale, the Conservative Chairman for Oxford.We have met him at the Henley By electiona and the General Election in Witney. A fine man who will be missed by all that knew him. (Alan Hope)

Letter to Mr. Cameron

This was sent in by a supporter..What do you think?

Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK’s economy:

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan;
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week …
And there’s your money back in duty/tax etc.

It can’t get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

Also…
Let’s put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling,
pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ’s and legal aid would be free, on
request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria ?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.