The Loony Party proposes that all Schools would have a Jumble sale or fete or other fundraising event at least twice per month to help raise funds for those little extras. . . such as Desks, Books, paper, pens , etc
R.U. Seerius
Author: R.U.Seerius
St George’s Day
Jeremy Corbyn has brought out a new policy that if they win the next election, St Georges day would be a National Holiday.
The Loony party would like to point out that this is a policy that we proposed many years ago. . . If we ruled you would already be having a day off today (St Georges was on Sunday this year). Once again the other parties are using our policies, many years after we proposed them. . . this happens all the time. . .
The conclusion is clear, vote loony for yesterdays policies . . . tomorrow.
R.U. Seerius
General Election June 8th
Theresa May has today threatened to call an election for June 8th 2017.
I say threatened as she needs a vote in Parliament (which she will probably get)
Our Leader Alan Howlin Laud Hope has already issued a statement telling Loony Candidates to get ready for Government. . .
As usual we will be publishing our manicfesto shortly so we can all be reading from a different page. . . Candidates are asked to contact us asap if you are going to stand (only definite candidates required). This is our chance to get our first M.P in Parliament.
Don’t forget if you are in the “Gorton” Manchester area we still have our candidate “Johnny Disco” standing on 4th May.
R.U. Seerius
Pensions – triple lock
In keeping with the Labour Party’s latest bid to get one or two pensioners to vote for them they have brought out a new policy guaranteeing the Triple lock on pensions until 2025 if they get voted in.
The Loony party of course will go one better and buy a padlock, and as its now safer than a bank, new mattresses for all pensioners on less than 20p per week.
R.U. Seerius
Westminster Attack
We would like to express our condolences to all the families, friends and relatives of any person caught up in the terrible events of last Wednesday.
r.u.seerius
Become and M.P until you get a better job
It seems to us that if someone is elected as an M.P they should (with the exception of illness or death) remain in their post until the next general election.
The costs to the local ratepayers and taxpayers of running an election runs into thousands of pounds, and is a waste of money, which could be better used on local facilities, health etc..
Just this year 2 M.P’s have resigned their posts in search of a better job.
Labour M.P Jamie Reed announced last month he was standing down as MP for Copeland to take up a post at the Sellafield nuclear plant, and now Labour MP Tristram Hunt is quitting as an MP to become the director of London‘s Victoria and Albert Museum, triggering a by-election.
No doubt all M.P’s state when they win that they are committed to working as an M.P for all the people in thier constituency, but they don’t mention….just until I get a better Job
r.u.seerius
Two By-elections
A busy December looming with two By-elections.
Richmond Park
The first being in Richmond Park, Middlesex, the seat vacated by Zac Goldsmith, only to put himself up again. A bit of egoism here one would think. He was against the 3rd runway at Heathrow. This election will be on Thurs Dec 1st, our candidate is none other than our party leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope.
He will be campaigning in Richmond, taking up residence as from Sunday 27th Nov til Fri 2nd Dec. His Party HQ is at ‘The Hope’ public house, 115-117 Kew Road Richmond TW9 2PN.
There will be a ‘Victory Party’ on Wed, the night before in ‘The Triple Crown’ 15 Kew Foot Rd, Richmond TW9 2SS, all the other candidates will be invited, Zac Goldsmith cant wait, apparently. See y’all there, it will be good fun!
Sleaford, Lincolnshire
The second being in Sleaford, Lincolnshire, a seat vacated by Stephen Phillips. He wouldn’t toe the party line on ‘Teresa Mays’ Brexit arrangements. So our ever popular, Sir Arty Pole will be our candidate. He lives in the constituency next door, is very well known in the area, and could, (will) rather, pull of a surprise result. Election date being Thurs 8th Dec. The Howling ‘Laud’ will be in Sleaford as from the Sun 4th til Fri 9th Dec in support. Once again, see y’all there, for some more fun !
Anybody who wants to join in, be of help, at either of these elections, or just be there and meet us, are most welcome.
His Laudship.
Happy Birthday Screaming Lord Sutch
All the membership of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party would like to wish our spiritual leader… Screaming Lord (David) Sutch a very happy 76th Birthday.
President (elect) Trump
“The Official Monster Raving Loony Party would like to congratulate Donald Trump and his independent Republican party on their victory today in winning the USA presidential election.
As a result of this, we now issue notice of a retraction for our offer to give Mr Trump membership of our party due to the obvious conflict of interests that this result has caused. We cannot have party members who are actually capable of winning sutch an election”
“The Donald” trying to sort out his economic policy..counting down…10 9 8 7 6 + 5 is ….11?….
Brexit
Brexit..
It seems that many are not happy with the way Brexit is going and want a referendum on every dot and comma..The discussion goes further to decide whether we should have a Hard Brexit, or a Soft Brexit.
Loony Party policy on this is clear..we prefer Al dente Brexit.
Although Ready Brexit was an option….
r.u