People of Wakefield its time to Wake-up and vote for the only Candidate at this election with No Strings Attached. Vote Sir Archibald Stanton Earl ‘Eaton
- Along with the existing Government policy for levelling up the North with the South we will provide free Spirit Levels to all.
- We will reduce inflation by giving everyone free pins.
- To make trains safer, we will fit them all with cushions on the front.
- Any possible schemes thought up by Government Council , NHS etc, (such as closure of Hospitals, workplace parking levy etc) in the Wakefield area will be preceded with a Public Consultation which we will then ignore.
- We will combat corruption in public life by taking part in it openly, we will introduce a Board of Bribery who will set standardised rates?. #sleaze for the many not just the few.
- In order to calm down the passions and stresses currently exhibited in Parliament,the Loony Party would make all M.P’s have half an hours compulsory Tai chi everyday.This would counteract the other 23 ½ hours Chi Ting they do for the rest of the time.
- We propose to prevent identity theft instantly by calling everyone Chris.
- All political and electoral leaflets will be printed on soft paper so that it may be recycled in the appropriate manner.
- The Civil Service will be extended to all branches of government, because a little politeness goes a long way.
- To increase Jobs and wealth to the people of Wakefield. . . Once in power we will declare Wakefield independent from Westminster and convert Wakefield to an inshore Tax Haven.
- We will only paint yellow lines where you CAN park, this will save the UK thousands of pounds every day. Potholes deeper than 3 inches will be marked with a yellow plastic duck.
- In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS, it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months.
- To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks.
- With Government helped finance, AstraZeneca should buy out Pfizer, then, as we would have the rights to Viagra, the economy may stay up longer.
- Redundant Red Phones boxes in Wakefield will be converted to bijou accommodation to ease the housing shortage.
- To make things fairer we will introduce a Court of Human Lefts.
Printed for and on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party 59 New Barn Close , Fleet, Hants GU51 5HU
Sir Archibald Stanton Earl ‘Eaton is the Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for the Wakefield Constituency.
He is a local Toff educated at Eaton – Earlsheaton that is WF12, one of the few local candidates standing and living in the area with a Wakefield postcode.
Apathy is the main contender in this by-election so WAKEY WAKEY you people of WAKEY and vote for Sir Archibald.If all the electorate in the Wakefield constituency who didn’t vote in the 2019 General Election voted for Sir Archibald in this by-election ,Wakefield would have their first Loony MP.
Look out for the Top Hat symbol on your polling card and put a large X in the box for Loony in the certain knowledge that you have carried out your democratic duty.
Remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used, so if you don’t usually vote then vote unusually.
The Monster Raving Loony Party are the only Official Party standing on the 23rd June, the rest are unofficial.
Let’s shake them up. All you disillusioned people out there who are fed up with the same old faces, same old policies, same broken old promises – isn’t it time we told them what we think of them. Here’s how it can be done – Vote Loony you know it makes sense.
Sir Archibald Stanton Earl’s Eaton
Win 2 tickets to see www.theMagicMod.com on his August Tour (Brighton or Glasgow shows only) & a very special Official Monster Raving Loony Party Annual Membership pack! Get your entries in on Twitter by 4pm on 31st May using the hashtag #MagicModLoony
Nominations closed at 4pm on 25th May 2022 for the Wakefield by-election.
There are 15 candidates standing including our local man Sir Archibald Stanton. Sir Archibald and Nick the Flying Brick lodged the Loony Party nomination papers at the magnificent County Hall Wakefield on Tuesday.
Sir Archibald suggested a change to the election rules which the Wakefield Elections Department are considering:-
The Returning Officer will draw out the winning MP from the candidate’s nominations all put into a big top hat.
The prize-draw will happen after all the counting tellers, election staff and party supporters led by Jon Craig and Laura Kuenssberg have spent election night singing, line dancing and doing the hokey-cokey.
Because that’s what it’s all about!
Our Party Leader Howling Laud Hope is arriving in the Constituency 19th June and Chinners and the Baron are busy behind the scenes with Twitter, badges and rosettes.
Our local men Johnny Ringo and MP Thompson will be giving Archie a helping hand during the next few weeks.
Nick the Flying Brick
We contested 11 seats in all, six of those were in Chessington, Hook and Madlen Rushett in the Royal Borough of Kingston. They were :-
Director of Undertaking Brunskill 90
Captain Coiley 47
Agent Chinners 61
Lucky Guv Joe 65
Colonel Cramps 90
Lady Dave 121
Total = 474
A special mention for Lady Dave here for coming top of the class in the Zoo!!!
Other results around the country.
Our party leader Howling ‘Laud’ Hope stood in two seats, one for Fleet Town Council and for Hart District council in Hampshire. The best news is that he was ‘’Returned Unapposed” to the Fleet Town Council.
Trevor Half Person – Blackheath London –106
Sir Charles Reed – Fareham Hampshire – 124
Howling ‘Laud’ – Hart District Hampshire – 100
Sir Archibald Stanton – Dewsbury Yorks – 236
Sir Archie deserves a round of applause also.
So all in all, we still retain 6 Councillors.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope – Fleet Town Hants
Sir Giles Greenwood – Bridgenorth Shrops
Baron Von Thunderclap – Bolney Sussex
Norm the Storm – West Grinstead Sussex
Sarah ‘Mad Cow’ Howard – Lower Carlton
The Iconic Art Pole – Great Carlton, both in Lincolnshire.
Very well done to you all, proud of each one of you. See you all later in the year at the Conference, if not before.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
Incorrectly named roundabouts and bus services were the main issues for the local Lucky Rover loony’s ahead of this years Local Elections. As far as we are aware, neither Lemmy or any other band member of Motorhead ever lived or worked in local area so we find it loony that they got a roundabout named after one of their hit songs. ??
We will redress this important issue by renaming the ‘Ace Of Spades’ at Hook, the ‘Downtown’ roundabout in honour of former resident Petula Clark.?? The Chessington World of Adventures ‘Tiger Rock’ water ride experience will be extended through Chessington to the Downtown Roundabout at Hook to supplement the local public transport service during the rush hours.
As is tradition, a Victory Party was arranged in the local Loony HQ the night before polling day. After a scare upon being informed that Bad Influence guitarist Richard was sadly ill, up stepped the legend that is Papa George to accompany the marvellous vocals of Val, performing some original and classic covers.
The Faux Fibbers performed a suitably loony set which had everyone present declaring their love of armadillos. Our glorious leader Howling Laud Hope was in attendance signing books and posing for numerous photos all evening.
The count was held on Friday 6th May and the following proclaimed results were duly cheered by all in the room . . .
Director of Undertaking Brunskill – 90 Captain Coiley – 47 Agent Chinners – 61 Lucky Guv Joe – 65 Lady Dave – 121 Colonel Cramps – 90
Cartoon Muralist, Joint Deputy Leader, Minister of Spinning, Bouncing & Points