Membership & Shop
A busy December looming with two By-elections.
The first being in Richmond Park, Middlesex, the seat vacated by Zac Goldsmith, only to put himself up again. A bit of egoism here one would think. He was against the 3rd runway at Heathrow. This election will be on Thurs Dec 1st, our candidate is none other than our party leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope.
He will be campaigning in Richmond, taking up residence as from Sunday 27th Nov til Fri 2nd Dec. His Party HQ is at ‘The Hope’ public house, 115-117 Kew Road Richmond TW9 2PN.
There will be a ‘Victory Party’ on Wed, the night before in ‘The Triple Crown’ 15 Kew Foot Rd, Richmond TW9 2SS, all the other candidates will be invited, Zac Goldsmith cant wait, apparently. See y’all there, it will be good fun!
The second being in Sleaford, Lincolnshire, a seat vacated by Stephen Phillips. He wouldn’t toe the party line on ‘Teresa Mays’ Brexit arrangements. So our ever popular, Sir Arty Pole will be our candidate. He lives in the constituency next door, is very well known in the area, and could, (will) rather, pull of a surprise result. Election date being Thurs 8th Dec. The Howling ‘Laud’ will be in Sleaford as from the Sun 4th til Fri 9th Dec in support. Once again, see y’all there, for some more fun !
Anybody who wants to join in, be of help, at either of these elections, or just be there and meet us, are most welcome.
“The Official Monster Raving Loony Party would like to congratulate Donald Trump and his independent Republican party on their victory today in winning the USA presidential election.
As a result of this, we now issue notice of a retraction for our offer to give Mr Trump membership of our party due to the obvious conflict of interests that this result has caused. We cannot have party members who are actually capable of winning sutch an election”
This by-election was caused by mysterious disappearance of No. 10’s Cheshire Cat David Cameron. So who better to replace him than Alisdair De Voil from Oxford, ‘The Mad Hatter’, who shouted “this is my tea party”, checked his watch, and made a dash for the nomination.
Our party leader Howling Laud arrived in Witney to support him a couple of days before the election, and was caught up in a film about ‘Political Party Leaders of Great Britain.’
‘The Mad Hatter’, Howling and Mark Stokes, a party activist from Shrivenham, toured the constituency mostly talking in French when they couldn’t remember what they were meant to be saying in English and supping from bottles that said “drink me!”. They ended up in a very nice public house called The New Inn, where they did seven impossible things just before breakfast.
Congratulations to The Mad Hatter for increasing his vote by 100% and coming 8th out of 14 candidates. We always knew it would be a tough Constituency, but it seems we are catching up fast with the Greens and Ukip who despite all their media attention, still only have one more M.P than us.
The night of the Count saw the arrival of the party faithful, ‘Nick the Flying Brick’, RU Seerius, Lady Helenbak, Chinners, and local supporters, George, Tom & Jerry.
Back to our candidate, didn’t he do well, 129 votes, coming 8th out of fourteen, and a big round of applause for all his efforts was heard around the hall.
We all agreed afterwards that it was a great success, and we’re quite looking forward to whenever and wherever the next one may be. Once again plaudits to ‘The Mad Hatter’ he did us proud, and thanks to Julian Bones the landlord of The Old Court Hotel for all his help and everybody else who voted for us.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
| Name of
|COURTS, Robert Alexander||The Conservative Party Candidate||17313
|LEFFMAN, Elizabeth Pendrill Raphael||Liberal Democrat||11611|
|ENRIGHT, Duncan Shaw Thomas||Labour Party||5765|
|SANDERS, Larry||Green Party||1363|
|BIRD, Kendrick Simon George commonly known as BIRD, Dickie||UKIP||1354|
|SALISBURY, Helen Rachel||National Health Action Party||433|
|SKIDMORE, Daniel James||Independent||151|
|DE VOIL, Alasdair Iain commonly known as HATTER, Mad||The Official Monster Raving Loony Party||129|
|WARD, Charles John Nicholas commonly known as WARD, Nicholas||Independent||93|
|BISHOP, David Laurence||Bus-Pass Elvis Party||61|
|JUG, Lord Toby||The Eccentric Party of Great Britain||59|
|MCKENZIE, Winston Truman||English Democrats – “Putting England First!”||52|
|ARNO, Emilia Rose||One Love Party||44|
|KNIGHT, Adam Digby||Independent||27|
Our Blackpool conference and Howling Laud’s record as the longest serving party leader of all time was covered in the Star Courier. They report that Howling Laud has seen off ‘the dirty dozen’ William Hague, Ian Duncan Smith, Michael Howard, David Cameron, Paddy Ashdown, Charles Kennedy, Menzies Campbell, Nick Clegg, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband, Nigel Farage and Dianne James!
It seems that many are not happy with the way Brexit is going and want a referendum on every dot and comma..The discussion goes further to decide whether we should have a Hard Brexit, or a Soft Brexit.
Loony Party policy on this is clear..we prefer Al dente Brexit.
Although Ready Brexit was an option….
Our 32nd Conference went as smoothly as it always does, I arrived in Blackpool 10 days before the event, just to iron out any mishaps or unforeseen difficulties. It was nice to see some early arrivals on the Thursday this year as well. There was but just one, but of no great circumstance. We didn’t have a cabinet to shuffle in. Apparently it got blown over in the high winds and got burnt, I never found out until the Thurs of the weekend. Luckily enough Vince Ripper was on hand to find another. Great to see him up and about after major heart surgery, we all agreed ‘he looked well’ and will be back with the ‘Rodent Rat’ show next year. Two years running now in Blackpool, I did two radio shows amongst other promotions, and our Blackpool Gazette feature was phenomenal, two whole pages of pictures and story. No wonder they want us back next year. Once again the town took to us with open arms on our open top bus tour.
That seems to have become one of the highlights of our modern day conference, thanks to Blackpool Transport and their star driver Tony Davies. The weekend’s entertainment was up to its usual standard, ‘The Full Fat Boogie Band’ on Friday night, excellent. ‘Chinners’ and ‘The Howling Laud’ both got up and did a spot with them, to the great excitement of all those that attended.
Saturday saw the grand photo shoot by ‘Dan Dan the Photo Man’ from the local press, before climbing aboard The Loonical Mystery Tour. Then back to party HQ ‘Uncle Toms Cabin’ for the world famous cabinet reshuffle, one again no splits in the cabinet but a door was heard to creak. Our leader retained his position, not like all the other so called political parties. Plus all other members came out with flying colours.
We even had two Elvis’s, ‘Paul Campbell’ the Welsh Elvis opened up Sat night, followed by the Big Fibbers, then Dales Rowles and his BB Blackdog Band followed by The Wattingers, all very very good. ‘Mr Badaxe’ then gave his usual rousing performance much to the delight of everyone. Not all over yet, the front door opened and in walked another Elvis, Eddie Vee had been performing professionally in Blackpool that very same night and insisted that he did a spot for us, well we weren’t about to say “no” were we. He also put in an excellent performance, with a stirring ovation, to finish off yet another wonderful ‘Loony Party Conference’ weekend.
Don’t forget we are the only Party that knows how to Party, if a smile was a vote, we’d win by a landslide!
All the best to our party member ‘The Mad Hatter’ who will be standing in the Witney By-election on Thurs 20th October, keep an eye out for him!
The Howling ‘Laud’
After the shock news today that Diane James of Ukip, recently elected, is standing down after 18 days , we can confirm that Alan ” Howlin Laud ” Hope who has been the elected leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party for 17 years IS NOT!
In a statement today Alan said that “he had all the authority he needed to see through the changes which he may have had planned….. if he had any”.