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- We will make the Honours system transparent by having a public auction of knighthoods and peerages to the highest bidder.
- The Government target of building 300,000 homes a year will be achieved by including bird, tree, dog and Wendy houses in the completion figures.
- The much-discussed silent majority will be found, and each given a megaphone so they can make themselves heard.
- To stop dark money entering politics, we will make all bank notes fluorescent and all brown envelopes see through
- To increase people’s ability to move around we will not reinvent the wheel.
- Government whips will only be used if a politician has been really bad. Minor offenses will receive the political slipper from our Party Whip
- Net migration will be controlled by ensuring that all nets are secured to the ground.
- The MOT is an annual test to ensure that your car is roadworthy. We will introduce a ROT, an annual test to make sure all roads are car worthy.
- After the next General Election, we will introduce a 3 year ‘cooling-off period’ in case voters wish to change their minds.
- Once elected, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party will complete a 5 year Parliamentary term in 4 years, representing a 20% cost saving. Everyone in ‘Selby and Ainsty’ & ‘Uxbridge’ will be given a year off politics to spend time enjoying themselves.
- We will have a second Brexit referendum with three choices. Soft, Hard or Al dente.
- Fly Tipping – We will ban all tipping of flys, insects, and zips of any kind. . .
You may have never voted before. But what if there was a Party dedicated to fun? There is! The Loony Party puts the fun back into politics with a guaranteed victory party even before the voting commences.
- A selection from our Manicfesto :
Ban greyhound racing – this will stop the Country going to the dogs
- Pensions to be fixed at 100% of MP’s salaries
- Incorporate Income Tax into the National Lottery so at least you stand a chance of winning your money back
- Have the right to vote for The Prime Minister
During the campaign remember that all the other parties will be trying to buy your vote – with your own money. The Loony Party are different- we only want to borrow it for ‘The Day’ – you can have it back afterwards.
Look out for the Top Hat symbol on your polling card and put a large X in the box for Loony in the certain knowledge that you have carried out your democratic duty.
Remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used, so if you don’t usually vote then vote unusually!
Vote Loony you know it makes sense.
Sir Archibald Stanton
On Thursday 20th July you are facing yet another Parliamentary Election. I, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope will be your candidate for ‘The Official Monster Raving Loony Party’. The Party Leader. Yes, many of you have voted for me before, I thank you for that.
I’m the longest serving Party Political Leader in Great Britain, 23 years.
We are the party that’s on everyone’s side, no matter what their Political persuasion.
Yes, just like you, we have seen it all before, heard it all before, and still don’t believe it. Between us we can show Parliament that we do care about our country, but not necessarily for the way the so called main stream party’s are running it. Lets shake ’em up. Just to save my deposit would make it loud and clear, let alone win.
Please remember the only wasted vote is one that’s not used. So if you don’t usually vote, then vote unusually, vote for me. Voting for the Lib Lab Con trick is only putting them back in again for more of what we don’t want. Between us we can make your constituency very proud, the wonderful district that changed the face of modern day Politics.
You’ve got nothing to lose. WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE
Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope
I entertained seventy five pupils with my story’s of The Official Monster Raving Loony Party.
The Head College Master said that no other speaker had enjoyed so many rounds of applause and standing ovations! I can report that we now have a Monster Raving Loony Party formed in Eton College. Looking to the future, how good can that be.
On Monday 19th June having obtained the necessary signatures on the candidate nomination forms during the morning, Nick The Flying Brick met up with our candidate Sir Archibald Stanton at Selby District Council and North Yorkshire Council offices in Selby.
Brick did an exceptional job obtaining the signatures in short time and was received well by residents in and around Charles Street in Selby.
We received compliments about our attire while having lunch and good luck messages from the Cafeteria staff and other members of the public.
The Elections Team accepted our nomination and wished us good luck.
We now have Sir Archibald Stanton as The Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for the Selby and Ainsty Constituency by-election with Nick the Flying Brick as his agent.
I am very much looking forward to the next few weeks leading up to the election on 20th July 2023 when I will be on the campaign trail with my right hand man Gilly.
All in all a successful day for The Party.
‘Champion’ as they say in Yorkshire.
Sir Archibald Stanton
June 16th is a very special date in our Loonyverse. Not only is it the birthday of our glorious leader, Howling Laud Hope, it is also the day the our former leader, Screaming Lord Sutch, became our current Spiritual leader.
To top both these historic events it is also the day in 1982 that our party was formed!
As part of our ‘levelling-up’ strategy with the number of public holidays elsewhere in Europe, this date, under a Loony Government, will also become one.
Further to this, we will increase the calendar year to 384 days thus surpassing all European countries and most others in the world. To celebrate this a calendar for 2024 is currently under construction with our friends at zeitgeistbroadcasting.com with all the profits being given to 3 special charities. More details on this quality bit of merchandising will be announced soon but in the meantime here is a sneak peek at this months calendar page . . .
The Loony Party have recently gained two Town Councillors in Northallerton in North Yorkshire. ‘Paul the Political Poet’ and ‘Stew Exotic’ have declared their allegiance to the Loony Party, they were previously on the town council as independents.
Paul was a district councillor on Hambleton District Council and leader of the opposition group. He has met Rishi several times in campaigns to keep the main Post Office open and also working with the rail companies so that their changing timetables do not adversely affect the town businesses.
Paul met Rishi Sunak the day after he was nominated to stand again for the Conservative Party in the Richmondshire parliamentary constituency three weeks ago. Paul told him of the Loony Party’s intention to take the parliamentary seat of North Yorkshire in the May 2024 general election, Rishi was surprised and laughed!
Stew Exotic is a man who enjoys making people smile, he is a mix between a rock star, a comedian and an oil tycoon. He makes quotes such as “Be Exotic” which just means open yourself up to more fun and make light of bad situations. Stew Exotic loves tigers, fast cars and fossil fuels. You will often find Stew Exotic around a coal mine.
The Flying Brick