We Want To Be Elected

‘Things can only get better’ once proclaimed Tony Bliar shortly before taking the reigns of power, wealth, war and corruption. Our song for this years General Election is far more succinct and honest. Performed by The Jammy Fibbers who comprise of the legend that is Joe Jammer, our Lord of the Strings and Deputy Fibbing Leader Knigel Knapp (also featuring A.Gent Chinners Loony Rant) we are sure all voters with a modicum of commonsense as well as a hefty pinch of Insanity will concur.

A. Gent Chinners

Holborn and St Pancras

Looking for inspiration I threw a dart at a map of UK constituency’s and hit ‘Holborn and St Pancras’ in London. I discovered, only shortly after having my papers accepted in Camden Town Hall, that Sir Keir Starmer had chosen the same constituency too! Sir Richard Bootleg in neighbouring Kilburn and Joshua ‘Mad Hatter’ Laud Mallinson make a great team. Sir Richard has accepted the role of election agent. Local legend and campaign manager Joshua proposed my candidacy and convinced fellow voters at ‘Tapping the Admiral’ in Camden to nominate me and arranged Dan from the Camden Journal to record our campaign. With sutch a fantastic team I am confident of a famous victory on the 4th July, independence is ours!
Nick the Incredible Flying Brick

Our 22 candidates for the 4th July 2024 General Election

Well done everybody!

Lady Lily The Pink
Brecon, Radnor and Cwm Tawe
Citizen Skwith
Brighton Pavilion
Mark Citizen Lawrence
Chelmsford
Lord Psychobilly Tractor
Crewe and Nantwich
Martin Hogbin
East Surrey
Hoo-Ray Henry
Ely and East Cambridgeshire
Knigel Knapp
Hackney North and Stoke Newington
Nick the Incredible Flying Brick
Holborn and St Pancras
Nicholas Robert Blunderbuss Green
Kenilworth and Southam
A. Gent Chinners
Kingston and Surbiton
Ezechiel Adlore
Leicester South
Iconic Arty-Pole
Louth and Horncastle
Baron Von Thunderclap
Mid Sussex
Mad Hatter
New Forest East
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope
North East Hampshire
Barmy Brunch
North East Somerset and Hanham
Sir Archibald Stanton
Richmond and Northallerton
Mad Mike Young
Sittingbourne and Sheppey
Earl Elvis of East Anglia
South West Norfolk
Titus Anything
Stafford
Sir Grumpus L Shorticus
Ynys Môn
James Antony Lionel Michael Rust Blackpool North and Fleetwood

Howling Laud Hope – Loony Party Leader

Howling Laud rallying the troops

Howling ‘Laud’ Hope your party leader here, on his marks, get set, ready – GO, for the 2024 General Election! I am in my home constituency of North East Hampshire where I obtained my best ever result of 576 votes in 2019. I am looking to trebling that this time. If I do, it would mean a lot of worry for the other party’s, as they would recognise the voters believe in us!
We are the Party which is on everyone’s side, no matter what political persuasion they may be. The only wasted vote is one that’s not used. If you want to vote for ‘none of the above’ and don’t usually vote, vote unusually, Vote LOONY!
Howling Laud Hope – Loony Party Leader

Kingston & Surbiton

Was out late on Thursday night collecting the 10 signatures required to enter next months Space-hopper race, so late that I overslept and missed my 10am appointment. Fortunately, my better looking twin brother realised sutch an occurrence was likely and took it upon himself to deliver the nomination papers on my behalf (I bet the ladies in Electoral Services loved that) and apparently all went well and was done & dusted in 10 minutes, so look-out Sir Ed Davey, I will be seeking the constituents ‘stamp’ of approval to replace you as my MP.
A Gent Chinners

Kenilworth and Southam

This is my third attempt at retaining my deposit in my home constituency, but I’m get closer every time with 370 in 2015 and 457 in 2019
My main policy is to bring the Loch Ness Monster to the Abbey Fields lake, Kenilworth. If she can’t be caught I’ll locate her nest and incubate an egg in this ‘House of Commons’ bag.
I can’t attend the hustings next week, but the Chair has promised I can be represented with a cardboard cut-out.
Blunderbuss

Cambridge & Ely

Ely & East Cambridgeshire – it’s a new one, don’t ya know. This is a brand-new constituency so, clearly, we’re ripe for a change from everything that hasn’t gone before.
As a result, I’m a brand-new Loony candidate; which is more than can be said for some of the unofficial party offerings.
There are Loony enclaves and a range of extremely good hostelries scattered around the seat, including one directly opposite Local Loony HQ. Anyone who fancies exploring them and maybe doing some light campaigning at the same time will find themselves made more than welcome.
My nomination papers were delivered to the extremely friendly election team at East Cambridgeshire District Council at lunchtime on Thursday. We had the novel experience of the Council not being entirely sure how to take my deposit off me, and no, it wasn’t the five-hundred and six 99p coins causing the issue! But all sorted and paperwork submitted. Onwards and sideways!
Hoo-Ray Henry

Mid Sussex

My nomination was in at 9.30am on Tuesday morning. It was certainly the first in my Mid Sussex constituency if not the country.  I didn’t have to bribe the returning officer with a Loony million pound note this time!
Yet again the other unofficial parties are copying us. It is the turn of the Labour Party to follow our lead by having a top Rock ‘n Roller as their candidate here. Enter stage left Dave Rowntree drummer from Blur!
Baron Von Thunderclap

Sir Archibald in Richmond (Yorks)

I obtained signatures in Leyburn over the weekend and delivered my nomination papers for Richmond (Yorks) to to North Yorkshire Council in North Allerton on Monday morning.

Local Loony Party legends Stew Exotic and Paul The Political Poet met in me reception and are keen to support the campaign.

They are active in everything there is to know  about matters in the the Richmond Constituency. Following formalities we took the opportunity to take a few photos with other candidates, and staff from County Hall.

Afterwards all three boarded Exotic’s Tiger battle bus followed by a visit to his zoo and nightclub.
Sir Archibald Stanton