Tamworth By-election

It rained on the drive down, and continued when I collected the register from the Tamworth council offices. The 14th September was a very wet day but the moment I arrived on Bancroft Road the rain stopped. The residents of Glascote welcomed me dressed in my large top hat, yellow ‘recycled teenager’ T-shirt and adorned lab coat and saw little reason not to nominate Howling Laud as their hopeful representative. I collected the signatures of ten registered voters within an hour and within seconds of Amy offering the tenth endorsement the rain started again!
All the elections staff at Tamworth were very polite and extremely friendly and led by regular defeater of gravity ‘sky god’ Andrew Barratt.
The night before election day Howling Laud our party leader and candidate lost the use of his legs. The following day he was ambulanced to Burton Hospital where he continued to run the campaign. Having spent ten days in the constituency Howling had a good knowledge of the town centre hostelries so he directed us to meet at The Blue Water Indian Restaurant which was one of the finer curries I have ever tasted. Later we spent a happy time at The Market Vaults where we enjoyed listening to live music.
Gilly recognised that our group required leadership and calmly assumed charge, so when we arrived at Rawlett School, where the count was being held, we all cheered him into the room.
I visited Howling in Burton Hospital the following morning on my way home, he is chipper and being well looked after so we are all confident of a speedy recovery.
Nick the Flying Brick

By elections

Many people have commented on the absence of Alan Howling Laud Hope at the Tamworth By election yesterday, where he was the candidate for the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.
Alan was taken ill yesterday morning and was taken to hospital. Get well soon Alan.
The Tamworth by election was won by the Labour party who are rightly proud of their 20% swing from Conservative.
However, Howling gained a whopping 155 votes. This is less than the 506 votes gained by Screaming Lord Sutch in 1996 but it’s a great result in an area where we do not have a large campaigning presence. Well done Howling

At the Mid Bedfordshire by election, which Labour also won, our candidate Ann Kelly achieved a massive 249 votes. In 2019 she gained 536 votes so slightly down on last time but a valiant effort. Well done to the Bedfordshire Minx!
RU Seerius

Conference Report, by Lady Lily the Pink

The 39th Loony Party Conference, hosted at Brecknockshire Loony HQ, The Neuadd Arms Hotel in Llanwrtyd Wells, ran in parallel to the Conservative Conference, but I don’t think I can overstate both how much more fun and how much less divisive our conference of Official Loonies was!
The conference began, unofficially with the arrival of our leader, Howlin’ Laud Hope, in typical fashion, a week early, reportedly to set the scene and ensure all arrangements were in place. Everyone else began arriving the following Friday and the Official Loonies were welcomed into the Llanwrtyd community of unofficial loonies with warmth and bemusement. The Friday saw busking in the town square and a pub crawl to sample the full spectrum of delights on offer throughout the town.
The evening consisted of some magnificent entertainment from The Faux Fibbers and the incredible and home grown, Becca O’Hara Band. The place was rocking, everyone walked 500 miles, long after the Proclaimers had left the building. Needless to say, copious amounts of beverages were consumed to ensure the economic viability of the local independent public houses and no favouritism from our political membership!
Saturday, we regrouped sometime around 1pm for the official pub crawl with a view to helping stabilize the local economy. Member of The Black Pig Border Morris Side entertained us inside and outside the Stonecroft Inn before we headed to The Belle Vue where we held a poignant cabinet reshuffle alongside a tribute to the late and great Barmy Lord Brockman, with a magnificent rendition of Eye of The Tiger on the kazoo played at a multitude of speeds and started at nonspecific intervals of time by the entire contingent of members. It was an eye watering moment, and Brockers would have been proud.
Heading to the Neuadd, everyone was on tenterhooks following rumours of a book launch, by our very own Lily the Pink. Alan (Howlin’ Laud) Hope also mentioned he too had written a book, and it was now sold out. He displayed the final copy, which in hindsight, should have been put to auction as a rarity. It is now SOLD OUT pending a new edition.
Howling gave a rousing speech to great applause, and much cheering at the years’ success stories and left members very positive about the forthcoming 2024 General Election (date TBC).
The evening’s Party party, was attended by many Llanwrtyd locals and there was a full program of fabulous entertainment, beginning again with The Faux Fibbers, followed by Gripper and the Gurnards, with a surprise guest appearance from our very own Chinners. Lux Delioux, performed burlesque, which was magnificent, and the evening then continued to get crazier with musical entertainment from Sir Dangerous Dave and friends, who were so emotionally exhausted at the end it took four people to carry him to bed!
All in all, the conference was a great success, well attended and thoroughly enjoyed by all. The landlords of the three hostelries, were left with much depleted stock, always a good sign, and the Party managed to execute their entre conference without creating a single negative headline through a single ill advised manicfesto u-turn or divisive comment, leaving them the most inclusive and welcoming political party of all!
Many of these wonderful photos were taken by Svitlana Frovlova
Lady Lily the Pink

Loony Party Conference 2023 by RU Seerius

In a concerted effort to abide with the wishes of our late Vice Chairman Barmy Lord Brockman we held our 39th Loony Party Conference in Llanwrtyd Wells. Wales famous for Bog Snorkling, Man versus Horse and the Loony Party HQ in Wales.
People came from far and far to attend even though its miles from anywhere and has little in the way of bus and Train accessability.
(mind you where has these days?)
The festivities started on Fri with a blinding set from the Big Fibbers, closely followed by Becca O’Hara, a very good local Band who really got the crowd going, all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
On Sat most people managed to get to the assembly point at the Nueadd Arms at around 1o/c for a trip to the local pubs (well 2 of em) starting with The Stoneycroft a very welcoming establishment where some members of Black Pig Border started some music going, in between the football, and did an impromptu Morris dance in the Car park.. all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
Later we all went up to the Belle Vue where we held our annual Cabinet reshuffle and Kazoo tribute to Barmy Lord Brockman and a limited amount of Space hopper racing.. all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
After that we decamped to the Nueadd Arms to listen to Howling Laud Hope regale us with the events and highlights of our political activity the last year and thoughts to the future General Election 24 with the resounding cry of LOONY’S…..GET READY FOR GOVERNMENT!!.. By the way if you didn’t know Alan Howlin Laud Hope has written a book. We also found out that our home grown TV celeb Bernie (Lily the Pink) has also written a book.. all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
I stop at this point to mention our latest addition to our merchandise range. The Loony party’s safest box of Safety Matches in the world. Guaranteed not to light.
The evenings activities continued with another brilliant set from the Big Fibbers, and followed by Gripper and the Gurnards with alternate singers including our very own Chinners.
all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
The evening carried on with our very own Dangerous Dave and band playing lots of great tunes and a surprise interlude with the well known Burlesque Dancer Lux Delioux, all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
followed by more great playing from Dangerous Dave and Band to finish off the evening… all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
apparently he’s only going to play 2 more
The Loony Party thanks everyone who attended, organised and especially performed (you dont get this at the Tory/Labour/Lib Conference) at this event.. All in all it was a very successful, all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
Once again our members were able to converse with, make and renew old friendships, and a great time was had by all… all washed down with copious amount of refreshment…
The local inhabitants of Llanwrtyd Wells can now rest easy and get back to drinking copious amount of refreshments as we have been assured that the Pubs are restocking. Next year rumour has it that we will be in Blackpool or Liverpool or somewhere else
Cu there..
RU Seerius

The Ultimate Safety Match

For many years now we have cogitated about the somewhat dubious claims by various companies about the safety of their matches. After a 10-year consultation & testing period we are delighted to confirm that we now have a plethora of boxes containing the ULTIMATE SAFETY MATCH.

Lord Rigby of www.brandedmatches.co.uk assisted us with their development and even got his children involved with the vigorous testing that ensures that every match is indeed suitably Loony. Each box also contains a detailed slip of paper with full instructions on how to use this innovative product.

Vote Mid Bed Minx

We are pleased to announce that our very own Bedfordshire Minx Ann Kelly is our candidate for the forthcoming by election on 19th Oct  2023
Ann has lived in the constituency for 34 years and has contested the seat three times previously. She has been Mayor of Flitwick twice and a school governor and foster carer.

  • If elected, she will not have a party whip and can say what she wants. She will not do deals.
  • Ann will be 100% behind her constituents.
  • She is against all the building going on.
  • She will not appear on any television program involving jungles and eating bush tucker.

More policies include:

  • We will set up an open and public auction of honours from knighthoods and peerages.
  • Kangaroo courts will be presided by actual kangaroos. They will be conducted on the hop.
  • We will replace employees of the Boarder Force with GP receptionists. This will dramatically reduce the number of people getting in.
  • We will sort out the delays of the trains by setting all clocks late by at least 10 minutes.

Loony Party Conference 2023

Our conference is at The Neuadd Arms Hotel, Llanwrtyd Wells, our Welsh HQ, between Thurs 28th Fri – 29th Sat 30th September
We have an action-packed line up of events. Starting with a meet on Thursday for the early arrivals and a walk around town on Friday to announce we’re here!
A TV documentary crew will be there all weekend who hope to capture the loony essence . .
Late afternoon around 4pm we have ‘Lord Charles does Tommy Cooper’ & George Formby’
Friday evening’s entertainment will be The Big Fibbers and The Becca O’Hara Band.
On Saturday we will tour the public houses with the Welsh CAMRA Society . CAMRA are visiting the Heart of Wales Brewery owned by Lindsey of The Neuadd, the sojourn will include a brewery tour. Radio Alty from Manchester will be there. The Brecon and Radnorshire MP Fay Jones wants to meet us, she would like a ‘Heart of Wales’ beer in the House of Commons. There are blue plaques to present to the Neuadd.
We will have our world renown cabinet reshuffle later in the afternoon on Saturday around 4pm followed my address to the assembled recounting the year’s elections and events. The Big Fibbers will start Saturday evening about 7pm followed by Gripper and the Gurnards. Sometime after 9pm a burlesque act in the form of the delightful Lux Delioux will enchant the audience. The headline act will be our old friend Dangerous Dave and his band. Badaxe will fit in wherever he is allowed!
If you would like to make a week of it you won’t be alone as I’ll be there from Thurs 21st.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope, Loony Party Leader


I was the candidate in Uxbridge. A very special thank you to A.Gent Chinners for obtaining the 10 nominations for me.

I campaigned in the constituency for ten days. Sir Tim Martin kindly let me use ‘The Good Yarn’ for use as my campaign HQ where I met a lot of nice people.

Word soon got around that I was there and a few of the seventeen candidates paid me a visit. Many Loony party faithful came too, ‘Mad Mike Young’ came from the Isle of Sheppey, ‘Sheikh Mihand’ visited from Kent, O.B.Joyful and Lawd Lawson drove up from Hampshire, and local Richard Ri- DICK-ulous Johnson.

Many lined up for a Wetherspoon photo which will be in a forthcoming Spoons Magazine. I did five radio shows and several interviews, all telling me that I was going to do well. My Hope’s were quite Hopeful, in fact I had High Hopes.

On to the count night, by now I had been joined By Ben Definitely, a TV producer and Film Maker who is making a Loony Party documentary. Also A Gent Chinnery and Ri-DICK-ulous Johnson, we were all booked in for the count. We arrived to the usual accolade, ‘Great to see you here, its not a real election if your not’. Cameras flashing, microphones pushing up to you, all a sense of ‘were going to do well here’. Some great banter with Count Binface and Piers Corbyn. All working up to the final finale. . .

The result, how very disappointing, all the hype and I got just 32 votes, the only saving grace is that I didn’t come last. Labour were odds on to win by a million miles and didn’t, even the Cons were quite surprised.

It was so close they had a recount, and I was Hoping that there would be more votes for me, but they never came!
So there it is, I’ve now done thirty two Parliamentary Elections, nine of those being General Elections, a record in Great Britain for standing in the most Generals belongs to me, at the moment.
Here’s to the next time. See you all at the Conference in September.
Howling ‘Laud’ Hope

The Selby and Ainsty by-election 20th July 2023

Gilly just wouldn’t stop talking on the night of the Selby election. The rest of our team were Johnny Ringo, RU Seerius, Lady Helen and The Flying Brick.

We all met at The Giant Bellflower in Selby and enjoyed listening to Gilly nattering away. The locals were very friendly in the Wetherspoons and wholeheartedly embraced the Loony caravan.

At midnight we wandered over to the count being held at ‘The Summit’, where we were greeted with our customary reception – loud cheers, numerous photograph opportunities and interviews resulting in worldwide publicity!?!

The announcement was made just after 4am and we finished 9th out of a total of 13 candidates on a turnout of 44.77%

Gilly was very excited to be on stage and was chattering ten to the dozen, but he didn’t seem to effect Keir Mather’s stride, they both made heartfelt acceptance speeches.

We all participated in a well publicised event and we all had a great time. We send many thanks to all our supporters out there in this great democratic country of ours.

Watch out there’s a Loony about!

Sir Archibald Stanton
(Archie to mates – Sir Archibald to Magistrates)

Results for ‘Selby and Ainsty’ & ‘Uxbridge’ By-elections

We came, we stood, we lost, we went home . . .
Alan Howling Laud Hope, who stood in Uxbridge, got a very low 32 votes which was very disappointing. We think his campaigning got a bit mixed up when the locals kept saying “what about ULEZ”? and Howling repeatedly replied ‘no I’m Alan, not Lez’. . . but on a positive note . . We were going to ask for a recount, but they’d already had.
Meanwhile in Selby and Ainsty we had a better result with Sir Archibald gaining a 100% increase in his vote, with very a respectable 170
We would like to thank everyone who voted for us, and will see you next time.
RU Seerius