Olimpic event

‘Following the Leader’ is a pastime that has been cast aside by society today and we think it should become an extreme event in the Olimpicks. (We are keeping this one hidden from Tony Blair as he may make it law)

A Lions share

It is proposed that we change the English symbol of three lions to 3 badgers. How often do you see lions running round the countryside, we should be proud of the lack of wild and interesting species on our fair isle.

A Warm solution

It is proposed that all pavements are heated so it is possible to walk bare foot in the winter, this would also serve another purpose by making the pavements warm no ice would form on them thereby reducing the risk of injury for everyone.

Smooth Ride – A proposal from Lee

Far too many speed bumps are creeping into our residential streets.
It is proposed to remove them all and replace them with eliptical, egg shaped wheels on every car. This would be like taking the bumps with you. Buses would be exempt.

Sweet Clarity – A proposal from Gavin

‘all mixed sweets (e.g Smarties, Skittles, Fruit Pastilles etc) must come in a clear wrapper so you know exactly which one your getting next (also so you know when not to offer the next one!).

ASBOs – a proposal from Daniel

Yobs and delinquent youths, seem to like ASBOs they treat them like a medal. Well an idea to fix this is call them: “Magic Pink Fluffy Bunny awards” no one not even a yob would want to get  that. Perhaps as an extra deterrent they have to wear pink fluffy bunny ears and a badge saying: “I love the magic pink fluffy bunny”

Political correctness

The Isle of Wight should be changed to: “The Isle of Mixed Races, and Cultures Located off the Coast of Britain.”

Edukayshun

GCSE English exams be given a more straight-forward layout, with lots of
short questions like the Maths papers have.

Animal fashions

It is proposed that :Pets, especially cats and dogs, may not be dressed in miniature human clothing for the purpose of human amusement, unless the animal in question can equip the clothing himself/herself. Punishable by dressing the owner of the animal in miniature human clothing.